Crazy Cat Lady…er, Man

OMG, I totally forgot to tell you guys about Crazy Cat Lady!!

I was emailing this guy, and again, good emails, good profile. He mentioned his cat and asked about mine, and I didn’t think anything of it. He called while I was out on a date, and I let it go to voicemail. When I checked it, I was surprised by his voice – high, effeminate, breathy – think Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday. I called him back, and the following is a rough paraphrase of our conversation:

Him: Hellllooooo, [Delightful]. (The hello sounded kind of like Julia Child, now that I think of it, or Nathan Lane in The Birdcage.)

Me: (Pause, somewhat taken aback.) Hi. How are you?

Him: I’m good, how are you?

Me: Fine, thanks. Sorry I missed your call.

Him: That’s okay. Although it’s good to finally talk to you.

Me: Yeah.

Him: Soooo. Tell me about your cat?

(Single Filez, say it with me) Cue WTF Face.

I beg of you all, say that line out loud in a Marilyn Monroe voice. With a slight crazy thrown in. Now, I ask you, what would you think?

I was kind of worried he wanted to molest my cat.

We ended up talking for about twenty minutes. Overall, this guy seemed smart, good-natured, relatively nice…except for the slight psychotic note to his voice. If he asked me out, would I meet him? Probably, just out of sheer curiosity.

He sent me an email later that night. A “Thanks, but I don’t think we’re right for each other” form email.

I guess I didn’t talk enough about my cat.