A collection of fortunes I’ve received that like enough (or thought were funny enough) to keep. Now I’m posting them here and throwing those itty bitty pieces of paper away. Part of my minimizing effort. (Adding “in bed” to some of these makes them even funnier – see the third one down if you have any doubt.)
You will spend old age in comfort and material wealth (in bed).
What you seek is closer to you than you realize (in bed).
You will sleep well at night (in bed).
The current year will bring you much happiness (in bed).
You are the master of every situation (in bed). Yeah baby!
An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly (in bed)! Heehee!
Keep in mind that it’s the journey and not the destination that counts (in bed).
You will have fortune as you desire (in bed). Does this make me a prostitute?
The only good is knowledge and the only evil ignorance (in bed). Amen.
If you dream it – it will happen (in bed).
Keep up the good work. You will soon be rewarded (in bed). 😉
You will make a name for yourself (in bed).
You have a quiet and unobtrusive nature (in bed).
You outdistance all competitors (in bed).
As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it (in bed).
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing (in bed).
Soon you will be sitting on top of the world (in bed).
Now is the time to try something new (in bed).
Get your mind set – confidence will lead you on (in bed).
You will touch the hearts of many (in bed).
Under all that we think, lives all that we believe (in bed).
Today will be pleasant, your life will be prosperous (in bed).
Your future is as boundless as the lofty heaven (in bed).
A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance (in bed).
Many a false step is made by standing still (in bed).
Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food (in bed).
You will enjoy a trip to Asia (in bed).
Your dreams are your best guide to the future (in bed).
Beautiful things await you (in bed).