In general, I think that dating in the workplace is a bad idea. A very bad idea. That’s not to say I haven’t done it – I have. But I haven’t done it in over ten years now. Because when things go bad, they can go really bad.
Where I work, there are many, many couples. Just within my department, I can count 12 people off the top of my head who are married to or dating someone else within the company.
I’ve used the “I don’t date people I work with” excuse multiple times in the past. It’s a handy excuse, especially for when you simply are not interested in the person. Earlier this year, I found out this very, very sweet man I work with was interested in me. He’s a very nice guy, and he’s not unattractive, but I was simply not interested. I kept giving my “I don’t date people I work with” excuse. He was nice and understood.
Recently, I’ve started getting to know this other guy. We kept running into each other in the hall, and he kept looking at me like he knew me, and we would exchange pleasantries. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he emailed me (I had left a note on the soda machine that it ate my money, and he was commenting on that), and we’ve been emailing each other about once a day since then, just random chit chat, getting to know each other.
I don’t know if he’s flirting or just being friendly. I asked one of my coworkers about it, and she said he’s just really nice and is just being friendly. I had another coworker read a couple of the emails, and she thinks he’s flirting.
The other day, he said that maybe we could go grab some lunch one day after he gets back from his business trip next week.
It’s so silly, because if this were a woman, I wouldn’t think twice about it, and neither would anyone else in the company. But because it’s a man, I have to wonder if this is “just coworkers having lunch,” or if it’s a date. And, regardless of what it is, gossip at work would definitely be of the more lascivious version.
All that being said…I could see the possibility of me being interested in this guy. I’m not sure why – he’s totally not my type. But there’s something about him. Some sort of pull, from before I even knew his name, from just those hallway smiles and hellos.
So if this has been him flirting, and if this lunch is more date-like, what am I going to do about it? I still don’t think dating in the workplace is a good idea, even though he and I never deal with each other.
How about this for an idea: I stop f-ing thinking about it and not worry about it until it actually happens, which it very well may not. That’s me, always thinking too far ahead and trying to sort it out in my head before it even happens. What’s the phrase? Borrowing trouble?
What about you – What are your views on workplace relationships? And, any advice on dealing with this guy if he has, in fact, been flirting?
Blog post in Haiku:
Dating in the workplace-
Good idea or bad?