Tag Archives: television

Done with that

Getting over a person or relationship can be difficult. Turning emotions off and on is not the easiest thing for people, and I think that’s especially true for women. You love someone, and they’re now gone, and you’re still left with those feelings, wondering what happened, the victim of emotional phantom limb syndrome.

There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother in October that I very specifically saved and watched several times.  The episode focuses on things that are unfinished, including Robin’s issues with getting over her ex-boyfriend Don.  She hasn’t moved on from their relationship, hasn’t had closure, because “Don left so quickly that I never got the chance to have that final showdown.”

That’s very much how I felt about my last relationship.  I never got that final showdown, I never got that closure, and all those feelings and emotions were never really resolved. I kept feeling like if I could just talk to him one last time, get an explanation, that I would be able to move on.  No, of course not right away, but at least I could have some questions answered and stop thinking about them.   (For those who haven’t been reading my blog, I had a year and a half relationship with a man and he just vanished with no explanation.  I’m not going to link to those posts because I’m…well, done with that.)

Robin’s friends urge Robin to delete Don from her contacts, so she can’t call him again.  Definitely a good idea – I think we’ve all been guilty of a drunk dial or two.  (For the record, my way of dealing with this is to put an X in front of their name, so that when you’re drunk dialing and you go to the D’s for Don, he’s not there, and then you have to think about it for a second before remembering to go to X, and hopefully that moment of thought will help clear your head. Works for me pretty well.)

As Robin notes, and as I can attest to, it’s hard to delete that number.  It’s also hard to delete texts from that person, especially the ones where they say they love you, they miss you, they can’t wait to see you.  You hit delete, and the phone asks, “Are you sure?”  And you’re not sure.  “You’re not just deleting a number, you’re deleting a part of your life.  You know, all those memories, all those experiences, it’s like you’re admitting they’re gone forever.”

Robin deletes the contact from her phone, but she remembers the number.  “You can’t delete contacts from your brain.”  Robin says she will never have closure.  “One day Don and I are moving in together, and the next thing I know he’s on a plane to Chicago.  It just…ended.  And no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened.  Don and I will always be a loose end.  We’ll always be…unfinished.”

But at the end of the episode, Robin once again calls Don, but she’s finally forgotten the phone number.  “Finished with that,” she says.  Because, eventually, you do get over things.  I know that.  I saved the episode specifically for that reminder, that eventually you do get over these things.

Although I spent pretty much all of last year dating, I knew I still wasn’t over things with my ex.  But around the end of the year, there was a very drastic change.  I went from not being over him to being about 90% over him.  It may have been a particular “mischievous” post I did in December.  It may have been my New Years Eve effigy – maybe throwing that thing and those thoughts in the fire really did work.  It may have been the end of a particularly crappy year and the new beginning the new year brought.  Or maybe it was just that enough time had passed.

If I was 90% over it on January 1st, I’d say I’ve gone up about a percentage point a month since.  I don’t know that I’ll ever be 100% over it, because of the breach of trust that was involved.  But it’s nice to be so close.

I just got a new phone.  I was going through my old phone, deleting things to clean it off, and I hesitated when I got to his contact information, his texts.  Was I ready to give it up?  For some reason, I was particularly attached to those texts he sent me just days before disappearing.  I always wondered how he could say he loved me and missed me and then two days later be gone, and not even care enough to give me the closure I begged for.  Was I sure I wanted to delete?

I wasn’t sure.

I turned the phone off without deleting.  I thought about it.  Why was I keeping it?  Why did I want that pain?  What good was it doing me?  Add to that, I’ve been seeing a great guy, and I can honestly say that I am (mostly) over my ex, and I am fully in this new relationship, with (surprisingly) very little bitterness carrying over.  I don’t worry that this guy will cheat on me.  I don’t worry that he’ll leave without saying goodbye.  I don’t worry that he will shatter my heart, even if he does break it.  And yes, there is a difference.

I had that sudden moment of clarity.  I turned the phone on.  And deleted all.  And when it was all deleted, I looked at the empty screen and smiled.

Done with that.

Gotta Love 80s TV

Did we actually think the acting in these shows was good at the time?  I mean, seriously.

Last night I happened to catch an episode of The A-Team, c.1983.  This one happened to be about a hijacked plane…kind of funny, considering…

You can watch the full episode on hulu.  I beg of you, with my entire being, please watch the first five minutes. For even more fun, wait until they shoot out an airplane window, and they have to land the plane:



My friend sent around a compilation of BBC Walk on the Wild Side videos, which feature animals in the wild “talking.”  I couldn’t find the compilation on youtube, but here are some videos from the show, all funny!

Night time…..DAYTIME!

Move! Move! Move!  Move! MoveMoveMoveMoveMoveMove…

Do that thing where you fart through your head.


How to be happy – a sidenote (via Today I’m happy…)

One of my goals this year is finding happiness in every day, and as part of that, I’m also providing some research, articles, thoughts, etc, on how to be happy on my other blog, DelightfullyHappy. Here is a post from yesterday, a recap of the Oprah show on happiness.

How to be happy - a sidenote What does it take to be happy?  Love?  Kids?  A good job?  Money?  Does what you do for a living make a difference?  What about where you live? This blog was started as a way to recognize happiness in every day, but I also intended to share snippets of wisdom, articles, and book reviews.  Today is the first of those “sidenotes.” Today, Oprah had Goldie Hawn on the show, and they were talking happiness.  It turned out to be a good all-around happi … Read More

via Today I’m happy…

Ghosts of boyfriends past

Photo by katmere

I got a call yesterday on a job I had applied for last week.  I had a brief phone interview with a woman who I think was HR, because she said she was going to “resubmit” my resume to the hiring manager, and I may or may not get a call back for an interview.  Great news, right?

Here’s the bad news.  The office is literally directly across the street from my ex-boyfriend’s house.  You could probably see his house from the office.

Why do we attach so much emotion to things like this?  Like, where we met someone, or where we had our first kiss, or what we ate on our 49th date?  Why do we have places we can’t go to because they remind us of that person?

ABC Restaurant is just a restaurant.  I’ve been there a million times.  In fact, I’ve been there with at least 5 different guys.  So why is it that whenever I go there, I think of Mr. X?  I’ve watched XYZ TV show for years, since before Mr. X and I started dating and broke up.  So why do I think of him every time I watch it?  I’ve tied my shoes by myself since I was 6 years old.  Why does tying them now make me think of Mr. X?  (These are basic example, people, not necessarily my specific experiences.  I don’t actually think of my ex when I tie my shoe, okay?)

And it’s not even that everything makes you think of your most recent ex.  I think of my college boyfriend any time I go to the zoo.  I think of Colorado Boyfriend every time it snows.  I think of one of my high school boyfriends every time I eat fortune cookies.  I think of Soccer Guy every time I see his college’s emblem…which is the same college my last ex supported, so why would I attach it to a guy I dated 6 years ago and not to the most recent one?

We attach memories to things, places, foods, smells, songs, thoughts.  Then those memories haunt us.  Why?  Why do this to ourselves, why let these things have that much control over us?

And it’s not just exes!  It’s parents, and grandparents, and siblings, and kids, and friends, and jobs.  Some memories are good, some are bad.  Some make you smile through tears, of either joy or sorrow, and some make you want to rip your heart out so you can just stop thinking about them.

Yeah, a little Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind wouldn’t be so bad, on occasion.

What things have memories attached to them in your life?  Do the memories make you smile or cringe?  What have you done to get past those memories?

Social Problems, The Middle, and Popeye’s Chicken

While you’re in school, certain classes, certain lessons, stick with you.  You remember a particular person in history, or a particular formula or math equation, a certain poem you can still recite.  I don’t know why one thing sticks while so many others are forgotten – something about it sparks a flame inside your mind, and it stays lit for years.

One such lesson for me came in a community college course I took called “Social Problems.”  In that class, we studied sociological, economic, political, and environmental issues that we face, some of us daily.  I had a great professor, and I think that’s key in lessons sticking with you.  He was intelligent, personable – he was very much “one of us.”  He was young, and cute, come to think of it…maybe that’s why I remember him.  😉

Anyway, the one thing that stuck with me in this class was a film we watched.  In it, this couple, very poor, could not afford to feed their three kids and themselves.  They would periodically give up one or two kids to the foster system, so that they would be taken better care of, so that they could eat.  I thought that was very noble of them…until I found out that both parents were two-pack-a-day smokers.


People struggle.  I can bitch and moan all day that I’m struggling, being unemployed, but I know that others struggle much, much more than I do.  I know that I don’t know what poor is.  I don’t know what struggle is.  I think most people who “struggle” also have no real concept of the word.

The Middle


ABC’s The Middle is about a middle class family in the Midwest.  It’s a cute little show, with the working parents, the academically challenged child, the socially awkward child, and the bright but quirky child.  They are the typical middle-class family, struggling to raise good kids, keep their marriage together, pay bills, work their jobs, and get dinner on the table.

In this week’s episode, the mother accidentally buys a $200 jar of eye cream, thinking it cost $20, which she already thought of as exorbitant.  She knows her husband will be upset, and he is, but, we find out, not because she made the mistake she made.  He’s upset because a $200 mistake means they both have to take a second job.  He’s upset because he doesn’t want to be in a position where that small of an amount, $200, makes that big of a difference to their finances.  He thinks they should be old enough, have learned enough and saved enough and be making enough, that $200 isn’t a big deal.

It was a great episode, and I think a lot of people, especially these days, are in the same boat, where a $200 mistake is a big deal.

But here’s where I tie all this together:  Being the “typical middle class family,” their dinner regularly consists of fast food.  The mother very rarely cooks, because, like the typical middle class mother, she doesn’t have the time or energy after a long day of work.  And I just flash back to that video of the smoking parents, and I think, Maybe if you didn’t buy fast food all the time, a $200 mistake wouldn’t be as big of a deal.

Of course, the fact that they were eating Popeye’s Chicken at the end of this episode, making me incredibly jealous because I can’t get Popeye’s Chicken where I live, has nothing to do with my angst.  🙂

Dear Chantal O. (Executive Assistant, Seatte WA)

You do not speak on behalf of every woman in America.

Granted, I did not watch Brad Womack’s original season, but I have never had anything but respect for his decision.  Is it better to propose to a woman and then not go through with it, or be honest and say, up front, that you’re not ready?

I prefer honesty, TYVM.

Learn something about…Joss Whedon

(Getting back to my “Learn something” series…)

Joss Whedon is an Entertainment God.

No, really, ask anyone who knows his contributions to the entertainment industry.  He’s smart, and funny, and feminist, and inventive, and talented, and can recognize great talent in others, and did I mention he’s smart?

Joss Whedon is perhaps best well known as the creator of the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (not to be confused with the movie BtVS – don’t hold that against him).  Many people will also know that he created the TV show Angel, which was a spinoff of Buffy.  Less well known TV shows include Firefly (absolutely genius) and Dollhouse.  He also wrote for Roseanne, and directed two episodes of The Office and an episode of Glee.  He created Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, has written a slew of comic books, songs, and, oh yeah, he’s done a couple of movie scripts.

He is highly respected by the people he works with (with the notable exception of Fox – wankers).  He will tell people he has a role he thinks they might be good in, and they are in before they even know what it is.  He uses a lot of the same actors again and again, and his eye for talent is remarkable.

He spawned a new lexicon of slangCollege courses are devoted to the sociology, psychology, and philosophy of Buffy.  He has a huge “cult” following, people who will watch anything he does, simply because it’s HIM.  What he has done has created an entire culture and form of communication, and deepened interpersonal communications.

As a Whedon fan (I could say Buffy fan, but it goes far beyond that), when I meet other people who are also fans, we instantly share a bond.  The same thing happened with shows like Friends, The Brady Bunch, Seinfeld, and Cheers.  “Do you remember the episode where…”  It often goes far beyond that, when you don’t even have to mention the series (example:  “No soup for you!”).

I could try to come up with some classic Whedon-verse lines, but there are too many to count.  Besides, most of them were probably actually written by someone else, some equally talented writer that he will again work with over and over again:  Marti Noxon, David Fury, David Greenwalt, Jane Espenson, Doug Petrie, and others.

He seeks out and surrounds himself with talent, which only underscores his own abilities.

He’s all about strong female characters, and he’s not afraid to kill off some of his most beloved characters.  His TV shows repeatedly show that a group of friends, friends willing to do anything for each other, will save the day.  Oh, and anyone who smokes is evil, or will soon die.

I got into Buffy a little late, around season 3, but I was instantly hooked by the humor of the show, and the internal struggle that people go through, represented by vampires and demons and the trials of school.  See, that’s what a lot of people don’t get.  It wasn’t a show about vampires, it was a show about life.

So, you’ve never watched Buffy, and you refuse to, but you’re intrigued.  Watch Firefly.  It’s 15 hours of your life.  My favorite episodes is “Our Mrs. Reynolds” – infinitely quotable (“Whoa.  Good book.”  “It’s my very favorite gun.”).  After you finish Firefly, watch the feature film Serenity.  Possibly my favorite line:  “Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries.”

Because, really, it’s the language I love the most about Whedon’s work.

Grr.  Argh.

What’s your dream job?

Ah, the Dream Job.  Getting paid to do what you love.  Preferably paid a lot.  It’s everyone’s dream, isn’t it?

But there are categories of dream jobs, I think.  There’s the dream job that you might actually be able to get.  There’s the dream job that is so completely out there that it’s not likely to ever come your way, and there’s the dream job that only lottery winners can do.

My dream job, the one I could get and have actually had, is to sit in a room, by myself, and count money.  The problem, of course, is that it doesn’t pay much.  The dream job that is so out there, for me, is to be able to travel and actually make a living off of it.  If I won the lottery, my job would be…doing anything I damn well please when I want.

I think most people would agree that Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage, of MythBusters,  have incredible dream jobs.  They’re essentially science geeks that get to blow things up on TV for a living!  How cool is that?!

However, personally, I think Zane Lamprey has topped them.  Lamprey is the host of the TV show Three Sheets.  For those who don’t know the show, this guy gets to travel around the world on an international pub crawl, checking out local bars and trying local drinks.

So, wait, my job is to travel around the world and drink as much as I can, and I get PAID for it?  Sign me up!!

What’s your dream job?

The Amazing Race is Back (!…?)

I have always loved The Amazing Race with an almost religious zeal.  It’s the season premiere I’m always most excited about.  It’s the only reality show I would ever want to be a part of.  Not in any attempt to get my 15 minutes of fame, but because of the fun and adventure and endurance of it.  I designed my own little scavenger hunt around Charlotte for my ex as a gift.  It was a gift to myself just as much as it was a gift for him.  Just yesterday I “competed” in the Challenge Nation scavenger hunt around Charlotte (I swear I’ll post about it in the next couple days), although we went in just intent on having fun, not on actually winning.  I love the concept of learning new things and traveling and doing all kinds of activities I haven’t had the chance to do.

I am always rabidly excited about the start of each season.  Last season was the exception.  I started TiVo-ing the season, which started in February, but I just couldn’t make myself watch it. 

The Pilot and I discussed going on The Race together.  I mentioned that I wanted to do it, and he said, “I’ll do it with you.”  I printed out the rules and the application.  Filled out mine.  Gave him his.  Asked him about it a few weeks later.  “I can’t get out of work for that long!” 

Gee, you think maybe that’s why I couldn’t watch this last season?  Because just the thought of air travel makes me think of him? 

So, I haven’t been paying much attention to the show and when it would be premiering.  I just happened to be scrolling through the TiVo guide for the week when I saw it was starting tonight.  I hesitated on hitting record.  Did I want to watch it?  Should I go ahead and record it, to watch later?  I went ahead and hit record.  Why not. 

Now, having watched the first episode…I’m still not nearly as excited as I have been in the past.  So…we’ll see.