Tag Archives: speed dating

Does 9 men in 2 hours make me a slut?

As if dating didn’t suck enough as it is (or maybe, because dating sucks as much as it does), someone, once upon a time, came up with the clever idea of cramming 12 dates into 2 hours. Just think, instead of spending every night for two weeks attempting to find enough to talk about with 12 different people for an hour or two, you can spend one evening talking about the same thing over and over (and over) again with 12 different people. I mean, really, with less than 10 minutes per date, can you really get into an in depth conversation with someone and learn anything about them?

Where are you from? What do you do? Have you done this sort of thing before? Why are you doing this now? What part of town do you live in? Do you have any pets? Some people will come armed with more profound questions, such as, “If you had one superpower, what would it be and why?” Because, you know, if he says he wants to be invisible, he’s obviously a psycho stalker you need to stay away from, although if he said he wanted super strength, then obviously that makes him an okay guy. Besides being non-insightful, that question isn’t incredibly original. Although, I guess it is better than, “Would you rather get married in your local church or in Vegas?” Or, “How many kids do you want?” Good questions, if you’re interested in taking the next step with someone, but in the first ten minutes?!

Let’s face it – speed dating is about the very basic superficial characteristics. You get to see how attractive they are, how big their gut/butt is, what their voice sounds like, if they smell, and if there is any attraction. That’s what it boils down to – why waste the time and energy on numerous emails and the nervousness of meeting someone and wondering if you’ll like them (as in typical online dating) when you can see if they are cute or not within ten minutes of meeting them? The questions you each ask and the answers you each provide are meaningless chatter to cover up the fact that you’re looking to see if they have any disfiguring characteristics.

I admit, I’ve been intrigued by the idea of speed dating for years, but have never had the opportunity to try it out. A couple of years ago, before I started dating The Pilot, I looked into local speed dating, but there were no events. So, after The Pilot, I looked again. And found an event. I still wasn’t okay enough to go by myself, so I asked a friend to go with me.

My expectations were low. Very low. VERY low. I expected 12 women and 4 men to be there. I expected those 4 men to be unattractive, unintelligent losers. And I am happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised. There were 11 women and 9 men. With the exception of one jerk who thought he was this schnizzel (and wasn’t), they were all very nice men. A couple of them were even attractive. Not drop dead gorgeous, mind you, but cute.

Here’s how it works: You keep a list of the people you meet, and you circle “interested” or “not interested.” The people you are interested in get your email address to contact you if they are interested. For example: I’m interested in getting to know Joe, and Joe is interested in getting to know me. We are both sent each other’s contact information. Or, I’m interested in getting to know Joe, but Joe is not interested in getting to know me. He is sent my email address, but I am not given his. Or, Joe is interested in getting to know me, but I’m not interested in Joe. I am notified Joe is interested, and I’m given his email address, he is not given my information. Make sense?

Out of the 9 guys I met, I was interested in getting to know more about 3 of them. 2 of those 3 were also interested in getting to know more about me (meaning 1 was not). In addition, 2 men I was not interested in were interested in me. That means 3 men ended up with my email address, and I ended up with email addresses for 4 men.

I didn’t email any of the guys, and, with the exception of one guy, none of the guys contacted me.

Now, here’s the exception: This one guy, let’s call him Vinnie, did not email me at the email address provided to him. He sent me a friend request on Facebook. With no, as I call it, “supporting message.” No “Hey, we met last night at the speed dating event” email. But here’s the really strange thing. No last names were given. I do not have an unusual first name. The email address provided does not match the email account I have associated with Facebook. My current profile picture is not a very clear picture of me – it’s not a picture that you could look at and go, Oh, hey that’s her. So my question is, how the heck did he find me on Facebook?

Yeah, I’m a little bothered by that. It makes me wonder if the event organizer gave him my last name, which, if that’s the case, I’m going to be furious. Besides, why would he friend me out of the blue like that? At least send me a message, too. I won’t even mention the fact that I don’t add friends just to have them, and I don’t add people as friends that I don’t know. I am not in a race to accumulate the most friends on Facebook, and I’m thinking maybe this guy is.

Anyway, to condense my feelings on speed dating: The reality far exceeded my expectations, and initially I would have considered doing it again, but after the glow of dating 9 men in 2 hours wore off, I came to the conclusion that it’s not worth a second try.

Has anyone else had experience with speed dating? Whether you’ve done it or not, do you have any thoughts on the process?