Tag Archives: postsecret

I want my own adventure

I saw this postcard on postsecret last Sunday, and of course it stood out.  Anything air travel related stands out to me.  But it didn’t really speak to me at the time, so I kept on scrolling through.

But the more I thought about it, the more it does speak to me, but not in the way it’s meant, I’m sure.

You see, over the last two or three weeks, I’ve been thinking.  It all started with my solo trip to the beach in April, and how wonderful it was, just me and the waves.  And I decided that I was going to go to the beach every year for my birthday, not necessarily alone, but I would definitely try to go alone.  My friend mentioned Belize, and when I looked it up, I couldn’t believe how cheap it was (as long as I didn’t mind not having a suite). 

So I decided on Belize, next April, sometime around my birthday.

I’ve always been against traveling alone, for several reasons.  It really has nothing to do with me not wanting to be alone.  I don’t mind being alone.  Part of it was a safety issue – a single, not-unattractive woman, traveling alone in a foreign country, possibly (probably) unable to speak the language, doesn’t seem especially safe.  I know other women have done it, but, I’ll admit, I was a little scared.  The other part of it is that I never seem to enjoy certain things as much as when there’s someone to share it with.  A beautiful view is wonderful, but when you can remember it with someone months, years later, that makes it even better, I think.  Part of travel is the funny and memorable stories that come out of it, and if you don’t have someone to share it with, it’s not quite as special.

But the thought of going to Belize by myself made me…happy.  Excited.  Calm and content.  And then I thought, where else do I want to go?  France.  Italy.  Greece.  Iceland.  Peru.  Turkey.  India.  Indonesia.  Egypt.  Germany.  And many, many more places. 

And, with only a few exceptions (India, Egypt, Turkey), I feel perfectly comfortable with the idea of traveling alone.

I’m done waiting for someone to travel with.  I’m done with my life on hold.

My plan right now is Belize in April, Cabo for whale watching in Q1 2012, Peru at the end of summer 2012, and France in Spring 2013.  Plus, I need to make it to Chicago and DC sometime in the next year or two. 

Anyway, to get back to the postcard.  I’m obviously no longer in a relationship with a pilot.  Being with The Pilot didn’t spark my desire for adventure any more than it was already sparked.

But what he put me through, the issues I’ve dealt with, the personal hell I’ve been through in the last seven months? 

Well, if this were my postcard, it might say, “Being with a pilot wasn’t a romantic adventure, but the rest of my life will be.”

Maybe that’s the life changer that came from that relationship.

Scars: A Followup (postsecret of the week)

courtesy of postsecret


This postcard jumped out at me today, as an odd, serendipitous followup to my post on scars (found here). 

With emotional scars, as with physical scars, they are evidence that we survived, even though, at times, we thought we wouldn’t.

We are stronger than we think we are.  The fact that we have scars, emotional and physical, is proof of that.


“I’m Sorry”

Almost every weekend, I find something on postsecret that I want to blog about.  Maybe I’ll make it a thing.

“I wish ‘I’m sorry’ was enough but we all know it’s not.”

It may not be enough, but it’s a start.  Sometimes it needs to be said.  Sometimes it needs to be heard. 

Sometimes, they’re just words. 

But they’re better said than not said.

They’re better heard than not heard.


Somehow, I forgot to read postsecret last Sunday.  I’ve since remedied that.

One of the things I love most about postsecret is finding a secret that speaks to me.  Whether it’s because I realize that it’s my secret, too, or because it reveals I’m not alone in the world, or because it’s a little too familiar, I don’t know – I suppose it can be all of the above. 

I’m not starting to realize those moments weren’t real.  I keep remembering they weren’t. 

I try to tell myself that this had to happen for the next part of my life to happen, that some day it will all make sense.

I just wish that day would hurry the heck up and get here.

Yes, Ma’am, Thank you, Ma’am

I’ve always heard about women, usually women who are feeling a little perturbed by their advancing years, getting upset about being called “ma’am.”  I was reminded of this today when I read postsecret – “When you call me Ma’am you lose your tip.”

While I don’t really consider myself a Southerner, I’ve still spent enough time in The South to say “y’all” and “ma’am.”  It’s second nature.  Someone gives me something, whether it’s a bag from the drive thru or something off the printer, I say, “thank you, ma’am.”  It doesn’t matter if that woman is 49 or 19.  It has nothing to do with age.  And it has never bothered me when people do the same thing.

Women need to get the f*ck over it, in my opinion.  It has nothing to do with the person saying it thinking you are old, it has to do with showing a modicum of respect, accompanied, most of the time, with the person not knowing your name.  Would it be better if they said, “Hey, YOU!”?

PostSecret Event

I went to the PostSecret event last night at UNCC.  It was really great, and Frank Warren is a pretty cool guy.  The presentation started with a clip from The All-American Rejects video for Dirty Little Secret – I had no idea they had incorporated PostSecret into the video, but now it makes perfect sense.  Frank said they offered him $1000 to use the postcards in the background, but Frank asked them to make a $2000 donation to the Hope Line, instead.  He read a couple of secrets aloud, and went over how the project started, and what it has meant to so many people.  He had a presentation of postcards that the publisher wouldn’t allow in the book, either because of copyright issues (like the secret written on a syndicated comic strip) or because of the graphic nature of some of them.  There was one that they think was written on a page from a Disney coloring book, and the lawyer said they couldn’t include that because, “Mickey Mouse will sue your a$$.”  As on the website, some secrets are laugh out loud funny, some are so sad you’re reduced to tears, and some hit a nerve in you that you didn’t know you had.  There’s usually at least one every Sunday that I wonder if I wrote unconsciously.  

Some “brave souls” got up to share their secrets at the event via microphone.  I use quotes because I can’t actually decide what I think of these people.  In my more optimistic moments, I do think they are brave, to get up and share like that in a room full of strangers.  But in my less optimistic moments, I wonder if they’re just trying to get attention or garner sympathy.  Because, most of the auditorium was filled with college-aged kids – my friends and I looked around and realized that we are not necessarily the target demographic, if PostSecret has such a thing – and a lot of college-aged kids, especially these days, are a bit…melodramatic.  Frank even said that he’s been called out for PostSecret being narcissistic, and I think that in some instances, that’s definitely true.  

The idea behind sending your secret in is that, in writing it down and “releasing it,” it has no more hold on you. I’ve always considered sending a secret in, but (this is going to sound so sad) I don’t think I have a secret that’s interesting enough.  And, to be honest, most of my secrets are a secret even to me.  I’m really good at pushing those deep dark things into corners of my mind and forgetting they exist.  But last night, I thought of one.  One that’s been with me for a while.  But I won’t write it down, I won’t “release” it, because no good can come of it.  If I were to actually write it down, the first thing I would do is throw up.  And then, that secret would eat at me even more than it does now, because at that point I wouldn’t be able to let it go.  But for right now, it’s in a deep dark corner in my mind.