Tag Archives: Match

A variety of questions on OkCupid

As I mentioned in my last post, I joined OkCupid, mostly because I was impressed by the algorithms and correlations they came up with on their blog.  They’re not afraid of being politically incorrect or offending people, because all they’re doing is running the numbers, so to speak, on information that users provide (their latest blog post is titled, “What if there weren’t so many white people?”).  They aren’t drawing conclusions, just pointing out trends.  And some of the trends are interesting.  I highly recommend following the OKTrends blog, whether you’re single or not.  I guarantee you’ll find it fascinating, especially if you’re scientifically minded.

So, yes, I signed up for OkCupid, loaded a couple of pictures, filled out the profile, which includes fun pieces like, “I’m really good at…” “The six thing I could never do without…” and “The most private thing I’m willing to admit…(I shower naked).”  You give your details, obviously – height, body type (which is far more varied than match, which I appreciate), education level, etc.

Then they have these questions.  They’re all user submitted, so the list is growing all the time, and I have no idea how many there are in total.  The question is presented, you are given several answers to choose from (you can only choose one), you can choose which answers you’ll accept from your match (you can choose multiple), and then you rate how relevant or important it is that they answer the question the way you want them to.  You can also add an explanation.

Example:

Q: Are you a vegetarian or a vegan?

A: Yes/No (you can only choose one)

Answers I’ll accept: Yes/No (you can choose one or both)

This question is: Irrelevant/A little important/Somewhat important/Very important/Mandatory (choose one)

Explanation: I tend to eat primarily vegetarian at home, but it’s not a conscious effort.

The questions can be really fun.  There are political questions (Is contraception morally wrong?  Which is more offensive, book burning or flag burning?  To you, is abortion an option in case of an unwanted or accidental pregnancy?), religious questions (How important is religion/God in your life?  Would you date an atheist? How do you feel about Scientology?), drug-related questions (Would you date someone if you knew they were a current drug user?  Do you think drug use with your partner can be a romantic activity?  Would you consider dating someone who grows marijuana for their own personal use?), drinking-related questions (Do you ever feel the need to get really drunk?  On average, which best describes how often you GET DRUNK?), dating questions (How much can intelligence turn you on?  What’s worse on a first date, no physical attraction or nothing to talk about?  Would you ideally like to be married in the next 3 years?), intelligence questions (Which is bigger, the earth or the sun?  If the price of an apple was raised 50% and then decreased 50%, making it cost $0.75, how much was the original price?  What is next in the series 1, 4, 10, 19, 31…), lifestyle related questions (Are you happy with your life?  How often do you tweet?  Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type?).

And sex questions.  Lots of sex questions.  Do you enjoy meaningless sex?  Would you consider performing anilingus on a partner who asked you to?  Would you consider meeting 2 people online, then arranging a threesome?  Do you enjoy giving oral sex?  Would you be disappointed if your significant other doesn’t want to receive oral sex ever?  Would you allow your partner to kiss you after performing oral sex on you?  Is your ideal sex rough or gentle?

And my all-time favorite question:  Do you know what sperm tastes like?

Here’s the interesting part.  As I said, you can answer what you want, when you want.  But, based on your answers, they do a personality profile, measured against the average of your demographic.  “You might be…more/less conventionally moral.  More/less old-fashioned.  More/less compassionate.  More/less kind.  More/less independent.  More/less spiritual.  More/less sex driven.  More/less kinky.”  And, as you might imagine, if you don’t answer the sex questions, they rank you as less kinky and less sex-driven.  But what if that’s not the case?

You can answer the questions privately.  Although, some of those questions I’m still not going to answer…

Then there are the tests.  Over 43,000 tests, actually.  Your Sesame Street Persona Test.  The Director Who Films Your Life Test.  The Which LOLCat Are You Test.  The How Low Are Your Sex Standards Test.  The If You Were a Beer Test (I’m a Guinness – as if there were any doubt).

It’s fun.  It keeps things fresh (says the girl who’s been on there for less than 3 weeks).  It’s different.  It’s free.

So, what is the quality of men on there?

Stay tuned.  😉

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Dating Update

Jersey – Nice guy. But a little strange. My profile states that I’m out on the lake as often as possible in the summer, and there’s a picture of me wakesurfing behind the boat. On our date, I mentioned something about going out to the lake, and he said, “Wait, so you actually get in the lake? You mean, where it’s deep and you can’t touch the bottom?” I wasn’t really sure if he was being serious or yanking my chain. “Um…yeah.” “I didn’t think people actually got in the lake, I thought you just stayed in the boat. Can’t you drown?” “Well, yeah, if you can’t swim.” “So you’d be okay swimming out in the middle of the ocean, where it’s really deep and you can’t reach the bottom?” “Well, yeah, as long as there’s a boat around.” Very weird conversation. Oh, and we went to a Mexican restaurant, and he ordered a beer, because margaritas are “girly drinks.” “My dad drinks margaritas.” He just gave me this look that made me think he thought my dad was girly. Which he most certainly is not.

Trip – I had high hopes on this one. It had all the trappings of “Destiny,” in that he would be the third man I dated with that name, I happened to be in line in front of friends of friends of his, and it just seemed…meant to be. After texting for about a week and a half, he finally asked me out, and we met for a drink. And had a good time. And then he would randomly text me, and after about a week and a half of that, it just stopped. Which I was fine with. It’s hard to get excited about someone who doesn’t try hard. And then….As I’m writing this, he texts me to let me know that he’s accepted a new job. It’s been two weeks from our last communication. To steal a line from The Single Filez, “Cue WTF face.”

Sandbar – This guy and I seemed to have a lot in common, based on profiles and first email. Then he said he normally hangs out at the Sandbar on the lake. Let me explain the Sandbar. It’s certainly fun to go to once or twice a year, for the pure entertainment factor. But as a rule, it’s not a place my friends and I hang out. On the busiest days, there will be 40-50 boats tied up in a row, four rows deep, plus your onesy-twosy tie ups. Generally, the demographic trends young, mostly people in their 20’s, frat guys and drunken girls and older men (30s, 40s, 50s, 60s) trying to be young again and hook up with one of these young drunken girls. The cops love this place, because they can count issuing tickets to about 80% of the boats for one reason or another. It is one big frat party on water. Not my scene. So the fact that this guy hung out there fairly often was not a check on the plus column. Regardless, a couple of emails, I gave him my number, and never heard from him. And I’m okay with that.

A lot of random emails and lack of communication recently – one guy emailed me that he had gotten my email but was too tired to respond, so he would write me “tomorrow.”  He never did.  I think it had a lot to do with Memorial Day, everyone being busy, then you figure too much time has passed since the last communication and it just gets dropped.

Now, on to the possibility of Good Times with a possibly Good Guy.  Because I know that’s what you’ve all been waiting for.  🙂

Sly – as in Sly and the Family Stone. I was at my friends house one night, and I said, “You want to look at boys?” So we put in some search parameters and started trolling. “Hey, I know that guy!” She ended up tracking him down at work one day and telling him that he and I needed to go on a date.

And the rest, I’m going to save for another post.  Because we did go out on a date, and that’s a story in and of itself.  And because I have some thoughts on him, and “us,” that I want to explore further, deeper, and really, this blog post is just fluff.  And because, well, I’m a tease. 😉

Resolved…

I had an incredibly productive weekend.  Four days off without having to worry about traveling is better than I ever thought it would be.  I hung the last set of blinds in my condo (on a steel door, which is more difficult than just, you know, hanging blinds).  I patched the wall where there was some water damage, and while I was at it I patched all the holes in the wall from the curtain rods that were previously hung in there.  I took the cat condo that’s been sitting in my stairwell for three years to a co-workers house for her cats to use.  I took the recycling to the drop off.  I cleaned out two (2!) boxes of junk that have been sitting, unpacked, for three years.  I caught up on some random stuff.  I put some pictures in a new picture frame and hung it.  I moved a bookshelf. 

I really felt very accomplished on Sunday.

And I finally talked with The Pilot.  Everything is fine.  He logged on to match to show his friend how it worked.  Although, I’m still trying to figure out why he had to un-hide his profile to do that.  But, I’m letting it go, I’m trusting him, and I am no longer getting those damn emails with potential matches. 

I’m taking Thursday and Friday off work, to match The Pilot’s scheduled days off, and I have no idea what we will be doing, but I’m looking forward to it. 

I’m finishing up my vacation time for the year – three days on this week, four days off, four days on, four days off, four days on, two days off, two days on, six days off, two days on, one day off, one day on, two days off.  Seven days off in the month of December, not including the holiday and weekends.  Don’t ask me how I ended up with so much unused time – I was so worried I was going to run out of time, and now I’m stressing to make sure I use it all.

Man, January is going to suck, having to actually work several five day weeks in a row.  I wonder when I’ll use my first “mental health day”…

2nd Place

So, after the whole “shaved legs sexy panties” thing, I am now being ranked below the season premier of Battlestar Galactica.  Really?  I said, ‘That’s what Tivo’s for,” and he shook his head and said, “I’ve been planning this night for months!”

Really?!

I love my shows.  The Amazing Race is my favorite, and I, like, hyperventilate when the premier gets close.  But I Tivo it, and if I get to watch it, great, if not, fine.  I’m certainly not going to sweat it if the choice is between TV and a hot date.  Really, it’s an easy choice.

And then…

Scottsdale initiated The Talk.  Seems he’s not quite as over his divorce as he thought he was, and although he likes spending time with me, he’s not ready to be “exclusive.” (Air quotes are his.)

Really, I’m not heartbroken.  Other than the fact that I’m once again not the chosen one.  I’m glad I didn’t cancel my Match subscription. 

It’s been a Good Friday

Scottsdale went home this weekend for Easter, to visit his family.  I offered to take him to the airport, and all I could think of was that part from When Harry Met Sally:

Harry:  You take someone to the airport, it’s clearly the beginning of the relationship.  That’s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally:  Why?
Harry:  Because eventually things move on and you don’t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?

Makes me giggle. 🙂

Anyway, things with Scottsdale are going well, as I guess you can tell.  I’m still on Match, but I think I’m going to get off this weekend.  I just have no desire to check it, email people, be witty and charming…  It’s really quite exhausting, just thinking about it.  And Scottsdale is really great, we get along well.  He’s a nice guy.  Example:  we’re both See’s Candy people – I think it’s a West Coast thing.  Anyway, I told him my grandma always used to send us See’s for Easter, but since she passed away I haven’t gotten any.  So he ordered me some – it was delivered today.  Isn’t that sweet of him?  Yeah, I have a bit of a crush. 🙂  (Actually, I’m grinning like an idiot typing this!)

Anyway, off to start preparing for the yard sale tomorrow.  Talk about Spring Cleaning – I’m getting rid of a TON of crap.  I was going through things the other night and yelling “Just get rid of it!” at myself.  Why do I keep so much crap??  I really need to work on that. 

(By the way, I consider today “kind of” my birthday – I was actually born on Good Friday!)