Tag Archives: jobs

Job Search Funnies

We're now hiring!

Image by Zach Klein via Flickr

  • Company:  www.meetup.com
  • Position:  “Product Manager, Secret Projects to Imperialize the Internet with Earnest Intent to Spawn Mass Local Community Organizing”
  • The funny:  ….isn’t it obvious?

 

  • Company:  SGL Carbon
  • Position:  Legal Assistant
  • The funny:  The job description indicates that “The employee is regularly required to…use hands to finger, handle, or feel.” What, exactly, would a legal assistant be required to “finger, handle, or feel?”

 

  • From Craigslist:  “Recently I decided to purchase a small electrolysis machine for home use. The down side is that I can’t reach/see places like underarms. So…I’m wondering if there is anyone out there who would be interested in swapping electrolysis sessions with me.”
  • Makes me wonder where else she can’t reach/see…and wants someone else to help with…

 

  • Another from Craigslist:  “Seeking a female to read books out loud and provide massages.  (No not at the same time.)”

 

  • And, from Craigslist:  Position:  Travel Agent.  “I will be conducting interviews on Friday at the Denny’s in Concord.”

It could be worse

I get five weeks (25 days) of time off each year.  That includes vacation, sick time, personal days, etc.  Last year it was four weeks, but when I hit the 5 year mark with the company, I got an extra week. 

20 days is about average, at least in my experience.  In past jobs, I’ve usually had 2 weeks (10 days) vacation, plus  5 sick days, plus 3 personal days, plus some “non-premium” holidays, such as MLK or Columbus Day or the day after Thanksgiving.  So, my 20 days last year was about average, considering I only get 6 major holidays – and that does not include the Friday after Thanksgiving, which kind of sucks. 

Today, all full time employees got an additional 5 days off.  Without pay.  They’re reducing our hourly wage by 10% across a ten week span, then it will go back to normal.  In return, we get 5 days (40 hours) of extra “vacation.”  These days have to be used in the same ten week period.

I worked it out, and it’s essentially a 4.5% pay cut for the year.  It sucks, but it’s not awful.  It’s not a 10% pay cut, period.  It’s not a layoff.  The money I will be losing was just the right amount to pay off my Lasik surgery, which sucks, but, what can you do. 

I’m still making more than I was a year ago.  I still have a job.  And I get a total of six weeks of vacation this year.

It could be worse.  I know.  And I’m not complaining.