In case you haven’t guessed, I’ve been having a pretty rough time lately. I’ve been in a serious funk for the last three to four weeks now, and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I don’t know if it’s the job situation, my personal life, the holidays, my financial situation, or (most likely) a combination of all of the above.
I had a mini-meltdown on Facebook last week, and since then I’ve been trying to see the happy in each day. “Today I am happy for central heat and warm fuzzy socks.” “Today I am happy I have Aleve in my medicine cabinet.” Small little things, but I thought it would be a good way to help me see the bright side of things.
It hasn’t, to be honest. But at least I’m trying, right?
I had lunch with a good friend yesterday, and I was (reluctantly) telling him about my funk. He nodded, he understood, he’s been there. He said, “I was telling someone else recently, ‘I need a win.’ If I just had something go right, go well, if I just had a win, it would help.”
That’s what I think I need. I need a win. Not just a goal, like a bright spot in the day, but a WIN. Yes, I have plenty of good things around me, but those aren’t quite the celebratory moments I need.
I need a response to my resume. I need to win $500 from the lottery. I need to win a $500 gift card to Harris Teeter (yes, I filled out their little online survey to be entered). I need the vet to call and say my cat is perfectly healthy. I need the mechanic to call and say, “Just kidding, it’s only going to cost $50 to fix.”
I need one of the damn stones taken off my chest. And no more added on.
In the meantime, “22 days until 2011, and today I am happy for leftover chocolate pie filling (now a souffle) and leftover cupcakes.”