Tag Archives: blogs

2011 Goals – An Update

Picture I made for my goals article

Image via Wikipedia

Oy.

That’s the update.

Half the year done, and I haven’t done JACK.

Let’s go over the list, shall we?

Work on being a better photographer.  I’ve barely taken any pictures, those I have taken have been on my cell phone, and I haven’t charged my digital camera in months.

Strive to write every day.  I wasn’t doing well with this one previously, but in the last three or four weeks I’ve been doing better.  I have been writing every day.  And I feel much better.

Delightfully Happy blog – now defunct.  I really wanted to succeed with this one, but I just couldn’t keep it up.  Not because I couldn’t find something to be happy about every day, but because I had so much going on I didn’t have time to post.  I kept a list in MS Word for a while, hoping to post as I had time, but I got so far behind I finally gave up.

Do not keep Netflix movies longer than 2 weeks.  Miserable fail.  I’ve had one for at least two months, I swear.  But now, with Netflix’s new pricing, I soon won’t have any DVDs from Netflix to keep, so…Win?

Use new veggies.  Um, yeah.  I did Baby Eggplant.  And I think I did another veggie.  But yet another massive fail.

Watch more hockey.  Fail.

Visit 5 places in the 1000 Places to See Before You Die list.  Nada.  Yet.  I plan on going to Charleston in a couple of months.  I looked into the Spoleto Festival, and it wasn’t quite what I expected (or was interested in, to be honest).

Watch movies from the AFI list.  Count:  0

Read 12 books from the BBC 100 List.  Now, I did try, I swear.  I read Wuthering Heights, and hated every second of it.  Then I tried reading Love in the time of Cholera, and I wanted to dig my eyeballs out so I couldn’t read it anymore.  I didn’t finish.  And that’s when I gave up.  (Although, I have started reading Pride and Prejudice, and am so far enjoying it.)

Overall, as you can tell, massive fail.  But I did so well last year – do I get credit for that?

How are you doing on your 2001 resolutions and goals?

Choose Your Own Adventure (via The Other Side of 55)

I used to love CYOA books, but no one else seems to remember them. I’ve written before about the road map of our life, and how if *A* hadn’t happened, then *B* and *C* wouldn’t have happened.  I’ve recently wondered how difficult it would be to write my own CYOA book – this post makes me really want to tackle it.  What if I had picked the other option in each major decision I’ve made?  Would I still have ended up here?

Choose Your Own Adventure Do you ever play the ‘What if?’ game with yourself?  You know the one I mean – “What if I’d travelled instead of going to college right out of high school?”  “What if I hadn’t married my high school sweetheart?” “What if I’d hung on to that cute little house [that’s now worth almost a million dollars]?” “What if I’d taken that job in [some exotic location]?” “What if I hadn’t won the lottery?” (just kidding).  What if … What if … What if … … Read More

via The Other Side of 55

You’re blogging wrong!

I love my blog.  It’s kind of my baby.  I admit to getting a little thrill from seeing my words in print.  But more than that, my blog is my release.  It’s my therapy, my way of getting my emotions and thoughts out of my head.  I love if people read it.  I love if something I write touches someone, makes them think, makes them feel less lonely.  And I love it even more if someone comments on my blog.  It gives me some validation.

I wouldn’t say my blog is “successful.”  I get plenty of hits, most of them random, hitting posts that I happened to keyword well.  I’ve looked at all the ways to get more people to my blog, to get more hits, more regular readers, more comments, more publication.  I’ve read numerous articles on how to blog successfully, and I know what’s “good” and what’s “bad.”

Doesn’t mean I want to do it on mine, and it especially doesn’t mean I want to annoy people with the things that annoy me.

For instance:

I know that when linking, it’s best to have a parent link – that is, a link that opens a new window (like this).  This is best because it keeps people on your page.  If you have a blank link – one that opens in the same window (like this) – the reader has to use the back button to get back to your blog.  Obviously, you want to keep people on your page, not drive them away from it.  But it annoys me when that happens to me, so I rarely do it.  I evaluate each link, the likelihood of a reader clicking on it, of coming back to my blog, and I will do a parent link occasionally.  But usually, I don’t.

The best thing to do is have a limited RSS feed.  You give the reader a little sample, but force them to view the full page to read the full post.  Obviously, it is easier to get comments on a post if the person is on your page, rather than reading on a feed.  If they can read the full post on a feed, it takes extra effort to come to the blog and comment, so it has to be something they really want to comment on.  I get it.  But it annoys me when I can’t see the full post in a feed.  I’m actually less likely to come over to the blog.  So I don’t limit my feed.

Every “Blog Success” article I read says “Have a niche.”  SewingSouthern PeopleDatingMotherhoodLegal mattersPhotography.  And while at times my blog could be classified as a Dating Blog, it’s really not.  It’s my life.  It’s what I’m thinking now, today, about this, or that.  It’s how I feel, and more importantly, it’s how I think.   I admit, I’m scattered.  My brain is usually in twenty different places at once.  I sit down to meditate, and I’ll have words coming out of my mouth, but I’m thinking about what I saw on TV last night, and I’m wondering how the cat is doing and if his new food is working, and I’m conscious of the fact that the neighbor is doing laundry and there’s a stray cat walking by outside, and will my cat see him?

I saw something the other day that said most blogs fail because all you talk about is yourself.  But…that’s kind of the point, right?  I mean, yes, there are great blogs out there that are as informative as CNN, Wikipedia, and Youtube put together, with quality, usable information.  But the whole point of a blog is an online diary.  That’s kinda how it started.  This is my life.  Deal with it.  Of course I want you to read it, and obviously I expect you to enjoy certain posts more than others.  But I don’t want to “niche” myself, why would I “niche” my blog?  I don’t have a focus in my life, why would I have one on my blog?  Which, of course,  begs the observation, “Maybe if you had focus on your blog, you would have focus in your life.”  Yeah, whatever.  Bite me.  😉

Delightful Year, Continued

As I mentioned in this post, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue my “Picture a Day” project for 2011, but I did want to work on taking better pictures.

But then, I discovered that taking a picture each day is second nature now.  So I’m continuing the project, although I ‘m not guaranteeing a picture for each day, because some of my days I don’t even leave the house.  But I will be doing pictures most days.

January is mostly updated – you can view it here.

Also, I evidently inspired my friend GeauxGirl to challenge herself to a picture a day.  You can view her photos here.

Emotional Math

Lots of future posts floating around in my head right now.  I’ll organize my thoughts and get to them all sooner or later.  In the meantime, I just read a wonderful post by IzzieDarling:

  • Just because … I can’t see doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Often times, we are irritated and impatient with others when we believe they are beating a dead horse, not moving fast enough, lazy, playing the victim. Guilty. Add compassion.
  • Just because … you find yourself “lost” does not mean you will not be “found”. Subtract despair, multiply hope.
  • Just because … you face the unknown on all fronts does not mean anything other than you may be at the doorstep of the best life you’ve ever known. Negative thinking is easy. Divide it into smithereens, erase, and add amazing possibilities to each and every half empty glass in your possession.

Read more here:  Just Because: Do the Math.

Blog Twins

Ever since izziedarling commented on my blog and I started following her, I’ve loved her.  I can hear her voice in my head, even though I’ve never met her.  But here’s the thing – it’s not her voice I hear, it’s my friend geauxgirl’s.  I would almost believe they were the same person, if I didn’t know better.  Actually, come to think of it…geauxgirl, do you have a second blog that I didn’t know about?  Nah, you’re too damn busy.

Read this. Then read this.  Then tell me they don’t sound alike.

I would love to have cocktails with both of them together.

On second thought, that might be a little scary…

The Perfect Man – an exercise

Taking a cue from Goose over at SWF, I decided to do as her mother recommended and, without thinking of The Pilot, list of all the qualities I wanted in a partner.  I made a point of making my list before reading the rest of her post.

  • Dependable.  I want to know he will be there when I need him, whether it’s to change a lightbulb, kiss away the hurt of a scratch, or hold me in times of despair.
  • Intelligent.  Able to discuss current events and think logically and creatively.
  • Generous, with his time, emotion, and feelings. 
  • Chivalrous.  Opens doors for women, buys lemonade from a kids roadside stand, gives up his seat on the train for someone who needs it more, among other things.
  • Funny, in a witty, irreverent way, not in a “class clown” kind of way.  Smart funny.
  • Casual.  Most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt, but also comfortable in a suit, although that’s not his outfit of choice.
  • Caring.  He cares about people, and wants the best for others.
  • A good friend to his friends.  There for them in a jam.  Backs them up in a fight.
  • Athletic, keeps in shape, without being a gym-rat.
  • Tall.  I don’t know if that counts for a quality, but I like tall men.  At least 5’10”, preferably over 6′.
  • Supportive.  Of me, my life, my stupid ideas that I sometimes come up with.  My choices. 
  • The ability to disagree agreeably.  Even if our opinions on something differ, he should understand and see my point of view, as I will understand and see his.  And he should know that a disagreement doesn’t mean the end.
  • Communicative.  Able to talk to me about life and intimate issues and inner feelings and desires.  I’m okay with him keeping to himself for a time, but there comes a time to talk, too, and he should know when that time comes that he can talk to me.
  • Adventurous, and willing to try new things.
  • Duality.  I want him to be opposite ends of several spectrums, depending on the moment.  Patient and impatient.  Cautious, but occasionally rash.
  • Honest, sincere, trustworthy, respectful.

Not thinking about The Pilot was hard.  I had to keep redirecting my mind and concentrate on what I ideally want, because as I came up with each I instantly thought of The Pilot and whether or not the quality was one he had.  Instead, I concentrated on Ben, the main character in the book I wrote.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was writing my perfect man when I created him. 

The second part of the exercise wasn’t that big of a surprise, since I was comparing the quality to The Pilot even as I was writing it.  The second part of the exercise is to think about The Pilot and see how many qualities he met.

  • He was intelligent, and we had some great conversations about current events and all the things you’re not supposed to discuss in “polite company.”
  • He was funny.  Most of the time in a non-class-clown way.
  • He was casual in dress, but comfortable in a suit.
  • He was a good friend, at least from what I saw.  Even at the time, I thought he was a better friend than boyfriend.
  • He was tall.
  • He was supportive.
  • He was adventurous.
  • He had duality.

Of course, he didn’t have a couple of the big ones.  Dependable.  Caring.  Communicative.  Honest, trustworthy, respectful.  Those are qualities that are far more important than the fact that he was intelligent and funny and tall.

I’m writing as I’m reading Goose’s post, so I’m not influenced by anything she writes.  But she also found that her ex met about half the things on the list.  But whereas she says of her ex, “not that he’s a bad guy or a terrible person…,” I can’t say the same about The Pilot.  He is a bad person.  I’m not going to get into it all again, but our “break up” went far beyond one of us just not being that into the other.

But here’s my favorite part of her post:  “I think of it as this: Break ups so often have nothing to do with the people being unlovable. Rather, it’s a matter of the right person, wrong time or maybe a fit that isn’t perfect. Perhaps a bit tight under the arms, a tendancy to cling in all the wrong places or a pattern that’s too loud.”  I think that’s incredibly true, most of the time.  Again, not in the case of The Pilot, but it’s a wonderful way to think of break ups, in general.  It’s certainly true about pretty much every other break up I’ve had.  They were not bad people.  We just weren’t right for each other.  Time helps you realize that.

So, now, thanks to Goose, I have my Perfect Man List.  Something I’ve always shied away from before, because there is no such thing as perfect. 

But I hope to find someone perfect for me.

DelightfulYear – March

Favorite Photo:

Best Photo:

Most telling photo (see this blog post for further insight):

Funniest Photo:

See all of March here.

DelightfulYear – February

Favorite Photo:

Best Photo:

Most Telling Photo (see this blog post for further insight):

See all of February here.

must…not…look…

This week, I had to have the “You’re a nice guy, but…” talk.  It was not fun.  I royally suck at it.  I felt like shit about it beforehand, I felt like shit about it afterwards.  But it needed to get done, so I sucked it up and did it. 

Let me repeat that – I sucked it up and did it.  Like an adult who respects other people.

Okay, enough with that.

Chemistry.com had a free weekend last weekend, so I decided to check it out.  I ended up signing up for a month, to see how it goes.  I’ve been emailing this one guy, and he’s…I hesitate to use the word “amazing,” but I think it might fit.  He’s certainly different from almost anyone I’ve emailed via an online dating site.  Long, thorough, well-written emails, he’s smart, he’s funny, his pictures show him to be cute.  We’re now emailing directly, instead of via the Chemistry site, and his email address is attached to his blog.  What can I say, I’m a smart cookie, and I figured it out.  (If your email address is Joe@mofonation, I’m going to be able to figure out that you are somehow affiliated with mofonation.  His name is not, btw, Joe, and I have no idea if there is any such thing as mofonation, but you see what I’m saying.)

I briefly glanced at it.  I swear, it was briefly.  I could have gone back and read all the archives, but I refrained.  He had a recent post about online dating that I couldn’t quite allow myself to skim, and while I didn’t read every word, I did get the general gist.  Which was, he’s looking for someone smart and that can write complete sentences, not just some pretty girl.  (Sound familiar?)

This guy is…

Nope, not going to say it.

Except that he cooks, and I mean COOKS, and he’s so smart, and he’s got that dry humor, and he can write, my goodness he can write. 

Trying not to get all googly-eyed, but…wow. 

Seriously.

Now I just need to force myself not to keep checking his blog.  Why?  Well, that’s kind of stalker-ish, don’t you think?  And I should be learning about him from him, not from his blog.  And wouldn’t it be horrible if I read something and then let it slip in conversation?  Bad, bad, bad. 

So, I will not look.  I will not, I will not, I will not.

Meanwhile, I’ve got that lovely warm feeling in my tummy.  (No, not low in my tummy, high in my tummy – get your mind out of the gutter.)

It’s nice, and it helps get my mind away from…other people.