Category Archives: Stuff on the web

The Perfect Man – an exercise

Taking a cue from Goose over at SWF, I decided to do as her mother recommended and, without thinking of The Pilot, list of all the qualities I wanted in a partner.  I made a point of making my list before reading the rest of her post.

  • Dependable.  I want to know he will be there when I need him, whether it’s to change a lightbulb, kiss away the hurt of a scratch, or hold me in times of despair.
  • Intelligent.  Able to discuss current events and think logically and creatively.
  • Generous, with his time, emotion, and feelings. 
  • Chivalrous.  Opens doors for women, buys lemonade from a kids roadside stand, gives up his seat on the train for someone who needs it more, among other things.
  • Funny, in a witty, irreverent way, not in a “class clown” kind of way.  Smart funny.
  • Casual.  Most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt, but also comfortable in a suit, although that’s not his outfit of choice.
  • Caring.  He cares about people, and wants the best for others.
  • A good friend to his friends.  There for them in a jam.  Backs them up in a fight.
  • Athletic, keeps in shape, without being a gym-rat.
  • Tall.  I don’t know if that counts for a quality, but I like tall men.  At least 5’10”, preferably over 6′.
  • Supportive.  Of me, my life, my stupid ideas that I sometimes come up with.  My choices. 
  • The ability to disagree agreeably.  Even if our opinions on something differ, he should understand and see my point of view, as I will understand and see his.  And he should know that a disagreement doesn’t mean the end.
  • Communicative.  Able to talk to me about life and intimate issues and inner feelings and desires.  I’m okay with him keeping to himself for a time, but there comes a time to talk, too, and he should know when that time comes that he can talk to me.
  • Adventurous, and willing to try new things.
  • Duality.  I want him to be opposite ends of several spectrums, depending on the moment.  Patient and impatient.  Cautious, but occasionally rash.
  • Honest, sincere, trustworthy, respectful.

Not thinking about The Pilot was hard.  I had to keep redirecting my mind and concentrate on what I ideally want, because as I came up with each I instantly thought of The Pilot and whether or not the quality was one he had.  Instead, I concentrated on Ben, the main character in the book I wrote.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was writing my perfect man when I created him. 

The second part of the exercise wasn’t that big of a surprise, since I was comparing the quality to The Pilot even as I was writing it.  The second part of the exercise is to think about The Pilot and see how many qualities he met.

  • He was intelligent, and we had some great conversations about current events and all the things you’re not supposed to discuss in “polite company.”
  • He was funny.  Most of the time in a non-class-clown way.
  • He was casual in dress, but comfortable in a suit.
  • He was a good friend, at least from what I saw.  Even at the time, I thought he was a better friend than boyfriend.
  • He was tall.
  • He was supportive.
  • He was adventurous.
  • He had duality.

Of course, he didn’t have a couple of the big ones.  Dependable.  Caring.  Communicative.  Honest, trustworthy, respectful.  Those are qualities that are far more important than the fact that he was intelligent and funny and tall.

I’m writing as I’m reading Goose’s post, so I’m not influenced by anything she writes.  But she also found that her ex met about half the things on the list.  But whereas she says of her ex, “not that he’s a bad guy or a terrible person…,” I can’t say the same about The Pilot.  He is a bad person.  I’m not going to get into it all again, but our “break up” went far beyond one of us just not being that into the other.

But here’s my favorite part of her post:  “I think of it as this: Break ups so often have nothing to do with the people being unlovable. Rather, it’s a matter of the right person, wrong time or maybe a fit that isn’t perfect. Perhaps a bit tight under the arms, a tendancy to cling in all the wrong places or a pattern that’s too loud.”  I think that’s incredibly true, most of the time.  Again, not in the case of The Pilot, but it’s a wonderful way to think of break ups, in general.  It’s certainly true about pretty much every other break up I’ve had.  They were not bad people.  We just weren’t right for each other.  Time helps you realize that.

So, now, thanks to Goose, I have my Perfect Man List.  Something I’ve always shied away from before, because there is no such thing as perfect. 

But I hope to find someone perfect for me.

There’s some funny sh*t on the internet!

Feng Shui of the Penis, including the fact that boxer shorts are so much better for good ch’i than briefs (no surprise there!), and advising men not to masturbate directly at a mirror, “as this could reflect your burst of ch’i straight back at you, exploding your penis.”  (Thanks to izziedarling for posting this one!)

Of course, there’s izziedarling herself, who cracked me up with her Dear John post.  “You are free to walk about the plane….  Wear a parachute in case you fall off the edge.  On second thought, leave the parachute at home.  Karma’s going to bite you in the ass no matter what.”  Loved that whole bit…for obvious reasons. 

Online dating is a funny, funny, thing.  It provides a wealth of humorous stories, most of which friends who have never done online dating would never believe.  I’ve wanted to post far more than I have about the stuff I’ve encountered, but I also feel kind of bad for making fun of some of these men.  Enter wooingthesnark.  Corroboration for my assertion that I cannot make this shit up.

This video was posted by a friend of mine on FB.  Lovely video, this elephant seal totally loves this human.  The funny bit comes around 1:10 in – watch the penguin in the upper left corner.  If we have things called “photo bombs,” where someone in the background completely steals away from the photo, could this be classified as “Home Video Bomb?”

Yes, Ma’am, Thank you, Ma’am

I’ve always heard about women, usually women who are feeling a little perturbed by their advancing years, getting upset about being called “ma’am.”  I was reminded of this today when I read postsecret – “When you call me Ma’am you lose your tip.”

While I don’t really consider myself a Southerner, I’ve still spent enough time in The South to say “y’all” and “ma’am.”  It’s second nature.  Someone gives me something, whether it’s a bag from the drive thru or something off the printer, I say, “thank you, ma’am.”  It doesn’t matter if that woman is 49 or 19.  It has nothing to do with age.  And it has never bothered me when people do the same thing.

Women need to get the f*ck over it, in my opinion.  It has nothing to do with the person saying it thinking you are old, it has to do with showing a modicum of respect, accompanied, most of the time, with the person not knowing your name.  Would it be better if they said, “Hey, YOU!”?

Earth Art

Some beautiful art work, and it’s right under our noses.

Photos from Haiti

jenfromtheblock’s husband recently went to Haiti to help with the relief effort.  I hope Jen will be posting some stories from her husband’s trip, but for now, these photos say a lot.

Page 69

Recently, in doing some online research on a book I was reading, I discovered a phenomenon called “the page 69 test.”

You know how you walk into a bookstore or a library, and you look at these shelves upon shelves of books you’ve never read, books you’ve never even heard of, and you wonder how you will choose a good book?  You pick up one with an interesting cover, read the back or the inside cover, maybe flip to the first page, or (gasp!) the last page, to see if you’ll like it. 

Well, according to Marshall McLuhan, as noted by John Sutherland in How to Read a Novel:  a User’s Guide, you should flip to page 69 and read it.  I’m not sure why that page, specifically, but evidently there’s a bunch of people who do this. 

You can see the test series here, or try it yourself.  I looked at page 69 of some of my favorite books, and I have to say, they didn’t really jump out at me.  But the next time I’m confronted with shelves and shelves of unknown books, I will definitely try this.

When they say “Living and Breathing Art”

They don’t actually mean literally.

Willard Wigan is an artist.  He does sculptures…within the eye of a standard sewing needle.  

Check out this video – it’s amazing.  He carves sculptures out of a grain of sand.  He paints them with a single strand of hair.  He may have inhaled one of his works of art.

“The teachers at school made me feel small, they made me feel like nothing.  I’m trying to prove to the world that nothing doesn’t exist.”

Here’s his website.

What’s New is Old

This is pretty neat – I found it on metafilter.  It’s a Flickr pool “for images you make where some part of a modern day scene is overlapped by an old photograph.”

You can use photoshop, like this one, or simply hold up a picture, like this one.

Back to School

I’ve been seriously considering taking a class at the local community college next semester.  Not for credit, not to go towards a degree, just for fun.  A class that I find interesting, and fun, and enlightening.  Now I just have to decide which class to take, because I have a list of about 10 that I think would be interesting.

I found this post:  100 Totally Fun and Weird College Courses you can take online for free.  Offerings include:

  • Magic, Witchcraft and the Spirit World, offered by MIT. 
  • Creole Language and Culture, from Notre Dame.
  • Physics of Rock Climbing, MIT.
  • Kitchen Chemistry, MIT.  (I listed that one specifically for the two Jen’s!)
  • Nine Lessons Learned About Creativity at Google, offered by Stanford.
  • Eat Well for Less, Oregon State.
  • The Dark Age, UMass Boston.  (I might have to take this one – I love studying The Middle Ages.)

There are some well-known and prestigious universities – just think, you could tell people you were taking classes at MIT or UC Berkley.  How much fun would that be?

I love classes that make learning fun.  If it’s fun, if you enjoy it, then you’re more likely to care about learning.  That’s one of the problems with the public school system in general, I think.  Learning isn’t fun, so kids don’t want to learn.  They study the basics, enough to pass the all-important tests, but it’s not retained for future use.

My favorite college professor was Dr. Hodges.  She was so enthusiastic about her subject, and she was always having so much fun when she lectured, that you couldn’t help but be drawn in.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she also had a theatre background, because she knew how to hold your attention, even in an auditorium with 100+ students.  I will never forget one lecture in particular, when she was talking about the “bathrooms” in medieval castles.  She drew it out on a transparency, told us how it worked, and said, “Isn’t that the coolest thing ever?”  And it kind of was, because she thought it was so cool.

You know you want to buy…

Check out this little gift box – isn’t it adorable? You can buy one for only $3.50 (plus s&h) on my etsy shop:

Like the idea, but want something just a little different? I can do different sizes, different colors, different designs…. So if you’re interested, just let me know, and we can discuss options!

Looking for a great Christmas gift for kids?  Check out PlayKitchens!  Granted, they won’t fit in my little gift box…