I recently spent the day with a friend of mine, a friend who’s been having some boy troubles. Her boy troubles are not similar to mine, but they are. I don’t want to get too far into her problems, because it would be a horrible betrayal of confidence, but let’s just say her “boy” doesn’t want to be monogamous, but he keeps dragging her back into this nasty little storm of his making.
So we spent the day together, shopping, going to the Farmer’s Market, having lunch, and she asks me to stay for dinner and a movie.
We were watching Lars and the Real Girl, and there’s this part where Lars asks his brother how he knew he was a man, an adult. And his brother, Gus, says, “Well, it’s not like you’re one thing or the other, okay? There’s still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what’s right for you, what’s right for everybody, even when it hurts.” Lars asks, “Okay, like what?” And Gus replies, “Like, you know, like, you don’t jerk people around, you know, and you don’t cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you’re wrong, or you try to, anyways. That’s all I can think of, you know – it sound like it’s easy and for some reason it’s not.”
I blinked at the TV, floored. I started to say something, but stopped myself. And three seconds later, my friend says, “Wow.”
You grow up when you decide to do right, not for you but for everybody else, even when it hurts. You grow up when you don’t jerk people around, and you don’t cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, and you admit when you’re wrong.
It sounds so simple. But “for some reason it’s not.”