“I need a win”

In case you haven’t guessed, I’ve been having a pretty rough time lately.  I’ve been in a serious funk for the last three to four weeks now, and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it.  I don’t know if it’s the job situation, my personal life, the holidays, my financial situation, or (most likely) a combination of all of the above.

I had a mini-meltdown on Facebook last week, and since then I’ve been trying to see the happy in each day.  “Today I am happy for central heat and warm fuzzy socks.”  “Today I am happy I have Aleve in my medicine cabinet.”  Small little things, but I thought it would be a good way to help me see the bright side of things.

It hasn’t, to be honest.  But at least I’m trying, right?

I had lunch with a good friend yesterday, and I was (reluctantly) telling him about my funk.  He nodded, he understood, he’s been there.  He said, “I was telling someone else recently, ‘I need a win.’  If I just had something go right, go well, if I just had a win, it would help.”

That’s what I think I need.  I need a win.  Not just a goal, like a bright spot in the day, but a WIN.  Yes, I have plenty of good things around me, but those aren’t quite the celebratory moments I need.

I need a response to my resume.  I need to win $500 from the lottery.  I need to win a $500 gift card to Harris Teeter (yes, I filled out their little online survey to be entered).  I need the vet to call and say my cat is perfectly healthy.  I need the mechanic to call and say, “Just kidding, it’s only going to cost $50 to fix.”

I need one of the damn stones taken off my chest.  And no more added on.

In the meantime, “22 days until 2011, and today I am happy for leftover chocolate pie filling (now a souffle) and leftover cupcakes.”

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One response to ““I need a win”

  1. I’m happy for you. I am happy that you exist and that you try, despite adversity. I’m happy that you share your feelings and that you fight for what you want. I am happy that even when you want to give up and you say you can’t go on, you still do and I am most happy that you are my friend.