WASHINGTON, DC- Recent data has shown that women often neglect to do a monthly self breast exam, as recommended by their doctors. In an effort to facilitate breast health, the TSA has begun training security personnel to check for lumps during their pre-flight pat down inspections of female passengers. This will ensure more women are checked on a regular basis, as early detection is key. Because breast cancer can strike males as well, men who are concerned about their breast health can also request the breast exam, as well as a testicular cancer screening, for a nominal fee. Simply tell the TSA Agent during your pat down that you want to “opt in.”
It’s a joke, people.
For more press release fun:
WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to address “the number-one threat to airline security,” the Federal Aviation Administration announced Monday that it will consider banning passengers on all domestic and international commercial flights… (Grr – linking not working right at the moment – here’s the article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/faa-considering-passenger-ban,44/