A Lunch Buffet, with Melons

A silhouette of Stripper on a Pole

Image via Wikipedia


I met a friend for lunch today.  At a strip club.

I’ve never been to a strip club, despite my curiosity.  I’ve voiced my curiosity and desire to go to a strip club to many of my exes – you would think one of them would have taken me up on it. 

I get the appeal of strip clubs, I do.  What I don’t get is the “tip bar” area (I had to look that up). 

Here’s the scene – you’re at lunch, with business associates, enjoying a (admittedly quite good) lunch buffet.  A woman comes on stage, dressed, and dances for one song, then a second song starts, and off comes her top.  You stand up, walk over to the stage, and the woman shakes either her butt or her breasts in your face. 

In  my opinion, you have just lowered your coleagues’ opinion of you.  You are now, for lack of a better word, a perv. 

I don’t know, maybe it’s different for guys – maybe they don’t see other men that way.

I get it if someone buys you a lap dance.  I get it if you’re out on a Friday night, having a good time, drinking.  I don’t get the business lunch scenario.

How about a funny story?

A commercial came on for the male version of the Shake Weight for Men.  My friend said he hated that commercial, he thought it was stupid.  I snickered, then was distracted by a man, standing at the tip bar, getting his face buried in cleavage.  Several moments passed, and the following conversation took place:

  • Him:  “How hard up are those guys to do that?”
  • Me:  “Pretty much what I was thinking.”
  • Him:  “What do they have to say to those guys, pay them, to get them to do it?”
  • Me:  “Yeah, I really don’t get that at all.”
  • Him:  “I wouldn’t want to be the guy up there looking like he’s jacking off.”
  • Me:  (laughs)
  • Him:  “You couldn’t pay me to touch that.”
  • Me:  “Well, that’s kind of harsh, don’t you think?”
  • Him:  “Huh?”

The whole time, I thought he was talking about the guy at the tip bar with the stripper.  He was talking about the Shake Weight commercial.


7 responses to “A Lunch Buffet, with Melons

  1. that’s funny – talking about completely different things and having one conversation. 🙂 love that you went to a strip club for lunch. i’ve always wanted to go to one, too.

    • delightfuleccentric

      It was…interesting. And the food was actually quite good. Don’t know how much it was, since he paid for it, but they had a huge buffet.

  2. Who are you, and what have you done with my friend?

    Actually, I know a *Lad* who used to rave about their lunches.

    Wait, today’s Wednesday, right? I think that was the day he said was prime rib day. Well, ain’t THAT a pun?

    • delightfuleccentric

      Yes, they had prime rib today – I didn’t sample any. But the roasted chicken and sauteed mushrooms were quite delectable.

  3. If both you and your colleague are in a strip club, neither of you is really in a position to pass judgment on the other for being a pervert. If you don’t want to tip anyone, go to McDonald’s. Strippers don’t get a wage — they have to pay the club and the staff to work there. Do you like working for free?

    • delightfuleccentric

      (a) we are not colleagues, we are friends. We don’t work together.
      (b) I understand that strippers get tips. I’m not saying anything about that. As I said in my post, I get it when friends go out, etc. I simply don’t understand BUSINESS ASSOCIATES walking up and getting boobies waived in their face while their COWORKERS watch. I think it’s a guy thing, which is why I don’t get it.
      (c) I went for the FOOD. Lots of people go for the food, and not the strippers. All of the back tables were full, the ones where you can’t even see the stage. You can bet they didn’t tip the dancers. The place has been reviewed as having one of the best lunch buffets in town – certainly better than McDonalds. And for the record – we tipped our waitress well.
      (d) Lighten the hell up. This was a humorous post, not a commentary on the underbelly of strip clubs. I have nothing against strippers or strip clubs. In fact, when I thought my friend was talking about not wanting to touch the strippers (which he wasn’t), I thought he was being harsh and said so. I have nothing against people going to strip clubs. I have an issue with the coworker issue and the lap dances combined. I think it’s seedy. That’s it.

      But thanks for stopping by and commenting! Have a great day!

      • a) That was a hypothetical ‘you’. You (un–hypothetically) used it, so I responded in kind.
        b) I believe I covered that in my first sentence.
        c) Just because the other people in the club are cheapskates doesn’t mean it’s right.
        d) I have no idea how that’s related to anything I said. Also, I think perhaps your read-along voice is a lot crankier than I am.