It’s hitting me today.  I knew it would happen sooner or later.  Over the last 5 days, I’ve had brief freak-outs, but it hadn’t really hit me.  Now’s the time for that, evidently.

I paid bills this morning.  And I looked at what’s left.  And I thought, “This is it, this is all I have.”  Of course that’s not exactly true.  I still have my severance check coming, and unemployment, so I know that’s not really it.  But it feels that way.

(Side note – while writing, WordPress suggests tags for the post based on keywords.  My recommended tags are:  University of Oklahoma, Landry Jones, Colleges and Universities.  Now, why on earth would they recommend those tags?  Do you see anything in what I’ve written so far to suggest I tag this post that way?)

Back to my freak out.

Holy crap, I don’t have paid health insurance!  Not that I’m a sickly individual, but do you know how much COBRA costs?  Anyone want to get married and add me to their health insurance?

On the bright side, I did start writing last night.  I have a story idea, and I wrote down some plot points, lines of dialogue, scene ideas, etc.  Did some research.  I think it’s a pretty cool idea – we’ll see how the final product turns out.

Still working on bulldozing my place.  I wasn’t quite as diligent last week as I intended, since I ended up with far more time on my hands than I thought I would.  I need to buckle down and get it done, though.  Clear out the clutter so I can breathe.

I think I’m going to go take some happy pills now.  I think I need them.  (Don’t worry, it’s just Evening Primrose Oil.)

And then, before publishing this, I went to check my email and got some bad news about a friend.  Breakdown complete.  Going to go take a shower so I can cry as much as I want.  I’m sure to feel better after that, right?

3 responses to “Wham!

  1. You are going to be OK! You are in my thoughts A LOT and if you need anything, just to talk or cry or whatever, call me.
    I was able to get a “catastrophic” insurance policy for about $100 a month through Humana. This is a “just in case” policy that covers just BIG stuff. I pay out of pocket for meds and doctor visits, but most doctors will discount 20% for self pay patients.
    I love that you’re writing. It helped me immensely until I made it public. haha
    Please let me know if you’re getting rid of any craft supplies or clothes. The young lady staying with us can use anything you can provide and is in desperate need.

  2. Oh AND I heard that you can apply for unemployment even while you’re receiving severance. I didn’t know this so I missed out on four weeks of unemployment. If you can’t get an answer on the phone from the NC ESC, go down to the office in the afternoon on a Wednesday. It’s usually a time that’s not too busy.

  3. Better out than in. When I “let it go”, I tend to remember that, and then get competitive with myself about it– as in, “alright, we’re getting it out– MORE OUT MORE OUT let’s be efficient about getting it all OUT!” and it makes me giggle in the midst of it. Go figure. 🙂