I’ve officially dated too many men (via online dating)

So.  Slightly-OCD me keeps an excel spreadsheet of the guys she’s had contact with on match.

This one guy winked at me in March or April, but he seemed so…blah.  So I said no thanks.  He recently winked at me again and, although his profile was still kind of blah, I decided to give him a chance.  I winked back.  He emailed me and asked if we could move right on to exchanging phone numbers, as “email can be so slow.”  Well, I agree that email can be slow, but I also liked that he asked to exchange numbers rather than just giving me his and saying, “Call me.”  So, I gave him my number.

I got a text from him around noon today, and his number was already programmed in my phone.  (YES!!  My reluctance to delete numbers has finally shown it’s worth!!)  At some point, we had at the very least exchanged numbers, and I wasn’t interested, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember this guy!  I searched through my spreadsheet but couldn’t find his username.  Of course, he could have changed it.

A couple of texts later, after work while I was stuck in traffic, and I figured this must be some guy that texted way too much – I’m sorry, but instead of three texts, why not just call?  Anyway, I went to my French class (more on that later) and while I was in he called.

I got home and gave him a call.  The first couple of minutes were great – he was funny, in a smart-ass kind of way, and I again wondered when I had talked to him before and why I couldn’t remember him.

And then he said he had lived in Charleston for a few years.  I had a sudden flashback, but couldn’t put my finger on it.  Besides, plenty of people used to live elsewhere.

And then he said his parents lived in a particular small town north of the city, and I knew.  This was the guy that had “moved in with mommy and daddy.”  He even used the same verbiage. And he told me all about how his house in Charleston (which he still owns) is worth half a million, and how he used to be worth a million, but the economy has killed him, and he had stock that he sold at XX price that he used to buy his new house (worth a million) on the lake.  “Oh, but listen to me, I talk too much.  Oh, and did I tell you about the boat I have?  I used to have a much bigger, million-dollar boat when I lived in Charleston…”

Wow.  You know, I’d love to win the lottery and all, but when you start dropping dollar amounts, you have issues.

Dear readers, if you’ve been around for a while, you might remember 3 Strikes Guy. This is him.  I couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.

5 responses to “I’ve officially dated too many men (via online dating)

  1. OMG….this is funny that you accidentally re-connmected w/ someone you’ve already blown off…why can’t we find a way to permanently tag these creeps anyway? ..a nice tattoo’s “L” on the forehead would do wonders to help prevent any other girls from making the same mistake!

    ..and he *does* sound like a real creep..no class, no couth, and self absorbed…and *I* didn’t even have to sit through dinner and drinks with him..ughh..you poor soul, you!!

  2. Agree with that KaPau. Next!

  3. Perhaps after you write off one of these induhviduals, you could change their names in your cell phone to your easily-remembered nickname for them. Like 3-Strikes Guy, in this case. Then, next time… you won’t be caught unawares.

    Did he not remember that he’d gone out with you before?

    • delightfuleccentric

      I usually give them all nicknames as soon as I know something about them, but for some reason he didn’t have one. But he does now!!

      I don’t know if he knew or not. It didn’t seem like he did, so I did everything in my power not to be too specific about anything, lest he figure it out. (Kind of reminds me of that How I Met Your Mother episode, where Ted went out with that one girl and they realized they had been on a date before.)