Damn it, I’ve been meaning to write a blog post about this for several weeks now, and The Single Filez beat me to it! (She also wrote a post about interracial dating, which I’ve been meaning to write about…it’s like she’s reading my mind….)
I don’t know how many TV shows and movies I’ve watched where, when talking about sex, someone says they haven’t had it in a certain amount of time, and everyone else is shocked that it’s been that long.
Usually, the time period is something like 6 months.
“Oh my god, you haven’t had sex in 6 months? You can get cobwebs down there, you know!”
Really???? 6 months is a long time to go? Jeez, I’ve gone far, far longer than that before. I know I’ve gone over 2 years before, more than once, and I may have broken the three year mark in the past. Now THAT is a long time. Might even qualify as born again.
Let’s see, it’s been right at 7 months for me this time. Do I want to “dampen the drought?” Well, of course I do. But I, like The Single Filez, have a hard time just jumping in bed with any random guy I meet. Sex means something more to me than just sex. I need an emotional connection.
That’s not to say I haven’t tried the Friends with Benefits angle before. I have. Or, at least, I’ve thought about it and gotten close to it. But when it comes down to it, I just can’t bring myself to do it. It just doesn’t feel right to me. It’s not as satisfactory as it would be with That Someone Special. Because for me, Good Sex isn’t just about (for lack of a better term) scratching that itch. It’s about the emotional release, as well, the endorphin high, and I simply can’t have that with someone I don’t at least care about in a romantic way, even if I don’t actually love that person yet.
The only exception to that, for me, is Sex with an Ex. An ex that you’re still on good terms with, you’re still friends. You know each other, “been there, done that,” but that comfort level is there, the affection. Someone you broke up with simply because you were more “friend-like,” because you loved each other, but you weren’t “in love.”
Of course, that can also backfire. If you’re so friendly you’re more like brother/sister…yeah, not so much. *shudder*
How long is your longest dry spell?
Blog post in Haiku:
Sexual dry spell:
When cobwebs start to grow
in private places.