I had a bit of a rough weekend. Not sure why.
A year ago I was in Tahoe for my friends wedding. My boyfriend was supposed to be with me, but he had to turn around and fly home because his uncle died. I wouldn’t find out until 6 months later that his uncle hadn’t actually died, and he actually had to fly home because his other girlfriend found out. I still don’t know what she found out – if she found out that he was in Tahoe, or that he was with me. I guess it doesn’t really matter.
A lot of things don’t really matter, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about them, or dwell on them at times.
This weekend was one of those weekends where I didn’t want to do anything. I spent a lot of time staring blankly at the walls, burning my eyes out playing solitaire, or blindly staring at the computer screen. Saturday I did get out, grocery store, used bookstore, took some stuff to Goodwill. Sunday…well, I kept trying to get myself to get up and go somewhere, but I just couldn’t do it. My mind was both numb and active at the same time, shuffling through scenes and conversations.
Well, here’s the part that’s edited out. I can’t say the rest online, lest someone call the looney bin on me.
Still having a rough time of it today, but don’t call the psych ward on me yet. I’ll be fine. I’ll get out of this funk. I’m just…