The Possibility of Good Times with a Possibly Good Guy

Yes, finally, The Story.  🙂

A rainy Memorial Day.  Plans to be on the lake obviously cancelled. 

“Want to look at boys?”

Search parameters loaded, trolling begins.

“Hey, I know him!  You would really like him.  You guys have a lot in common.”  I’m paraphrasing my friend here.

So, she decides to work the Setup angle.  Hunted him down at work that Thursday, told him about me.  He remembered seeing my profile.  She emailed us both our contact information.  He texted:  “Don’t know what you think about the setup, but I’m intrigued.”  I responded:  “It’s like going back to the days of yore, when people actually introduced people to each other!  And we wouldn’t have to say we met on Match!”  His response:  “Exactly what I was thinking!”

(Side note – His “handle” is Sly, not because he’s a sly or slick or player-like or anything like that.  It’s Sly as in Sly and the Family Stone, because…well, there’s a specific something about him that makes me think of Sly and the Family Stone.)

An email or two, a text or two, and Saturday rolled around.  I had just left my house to head up to the lake, when my friend called and cancelled.  Turned around, went back home.  Five minutes later, Sly texted me:  “Time to chat?”

I called him.  We talked.  Had a good conversation.  “You want to go grab a drink?” 

“What, NOW?”  I had no makeup on, as I had intended to be on the lake.  Screw it:  “Sure, meet you in 45 minutes.”  Put on mascara and lip gloss, a dusting of powder, shoved hair into a ponytail, donned cute little summer skirt and tank top, flip flops, and out the door.

We met at 3:45.  Had a couple of drinks, some appetizers.  Really good conversation.  Talked about all the things you’re not supposed to talk about in polite company – Politics, Religion.  He was quite cute.  And damn, what a body.  He hugged me when I got there, and his body was ROCK HARD.  Not in a beefcake kind of way, but in a lean, mean, fighting machine kind of way.  I finally told him I needed to go.  It was 8pm.

Have you done the calculation yet?  That’s over 4 hours. 

He walked me to my car, another hug.  I texted him later – “Had a good time, thank you!”  He texted back – “Me too. I’m impressed!”

Cue schoolgirl gigglies.

He’s been out of town with family all week, so we haven’t had a chance to get together again, but we have exchanged a couple of texts.  I’m hoping for a second date soon!

Here’s the thing.  Yes, of course, there’s a thing.

I can’t decide if I’m super-interested because I actually am interested, or if I’m interested because my friend knows him.  Does that make any sense?  Let me see if I can explain it, put it into the right words. 

  • Friend knows him, and likes him.  So already, there’s an additional link.  I know he’s a likable, sociable guy.  I know that Friend thinks we’re a good match.  So am I trying extra hard because of that?  If so, is that necessarily a bad thing?
  • Friend knows him, so that makes me want to like him more than the average online date.
  • Friend knows him, works with him.  If we don’t end up getting together, will that make it awkward for her?  For him? 
  • As previously mentioned, if we ended up dating, we could honestly say we were introduced by a friend.  None of that awkward “We met online.” 
  • It would be so easy to bring him into my social network, because he’s already on the inside track, since Friend knows him.
  • I worry that I just want someone to be IT.

So, yeah.  Have I ever mentioned that I think too much?  I know, I know, I just need to let it all go and flow.  It would be nice if we could just hurry up and have a second date, so I have a better idea of my real feelings.  Right now I’m just in this post-first-date-it-went-well-but-I’m-not-sure limbo. 

Further, all this thinking has gotten me thinking.  (*snort*)  I’ve been very against the idea of getting excited about dates.  My reasoning is that it just leads to disappointment.  I’ve been very against getting my hopes up about my dates, or the guys I’m emailing or talking to.  I’ve been very pessimistic. There’s been plenty of discussion about this issue on some of the other blogs I read, and I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned it here before.  If I don’t get excited, isn’t that dooming it from the beginning?  If I’m just blasé about it,  is that being insincere?  How can I expect to develop a schoolgirl crush, complete with stars in my eyes and cartoonish floating hearts above my head, if I don’t allow myself to?

Generally, I’m an optimistic person.  Some people might not see that, because I tend to have a cynical wit, but deep down, I expect to see the best in people, I expect people to do what’s right, and I expect things to work out for the best.  And I am constantly disappointed.  It’s exhausting.  So, with dating, I decided to stop doing that.  But that’s not a good way to live.

So, I’m going to start being optimistic again when dating.  I’m going to start thinking and hoping for the best, in people and in love. 

Because it all works out in the end.  Just the way it’s supposed to.

A friend on Facebook posted the following quote (which I promptly reposted):

“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.” – Byron Katie via the Mindfulist!

4 responses to “The Possibility of Good Times with a Possibly Good Guy

  1. Pfft! Stop that chatter.

    I bet your Friend has met him like maybe a whopping 4x, only in work settings, didn’t realize jack diddly about him until reading the profile with you (because I bet he’s fairly quiet, like someone else she knows), and has never formally *worked* on any of the same work stuff with him either.

    How well do you know sitting on another floor in another group on a campus of a boatload of people?

    Just hunch-i-ness, and good mojo on both parties is my guess. 🙂 It’s all your combined mojo, dahlin.

    Then again, I’m just guessing.

  2. there’s always something to be said for a personal reference. sort of like someone saying “i can vouch for them – they’re good people.” and that instantly takes away some of the initial awkwardness. i think going with the flow and not over thinking will be helpful. and being optimistic!

  3. Optimism is good thing. I’m glad you had a fun date.

  4. Pingback: Possibilities DO have an end « DelightfulEccentric