The Grad Student

Okay, let’s talk a little about The Grad Student. This was the guy I was so excited about a few weeks ago – he was really smart, and had a dry sense of humor, and could cook really well, if his blog was any indication. But I succeeded in not looking too deeply into his blog. How I held back, I’m not sure.

Our first date, we met for sushi. He didn’t look quite like his picture, but he wasn’t bad looking. We had good conversation, and I have to give him props for suggesting sushi, because boy really didn’t know how to use chopsticks very well. The fact that he was willing to do something he wasn’t very good at and therefore kind of make a fool of himself let me know he didn’t take himself too seriously. When the check came, we split it straight down the middle. As I’ve always said, I’m always more than willing to pay on a first date, so even though what he ordered cost more than what I ordered, we split it. We then went to a bar to have a few drinks, which he paid for, so it evened out.

At this point I wasn’t sure about this guy. I liked him well enough, and we had a good time, but I wasn’t really feeling much in the way of sparks. I decided to go ahead and give him another shot.

For our second date, we met at the Dog Bar, and he brought his dogs with him. I got there before him, and started a tab at the bar and went to sit outside. When he showed up, he started his own tab, and came out to sit with me. We talked, watched the dogs playing, had more good conversation. We both got a little hungry, so we ordered a pizza from a neighboring restaurant. When it came, he paid for it. I didn’t think of even reaching for my wallet. At the end of the night, I paid my bar tab, he paid his, and we walked out. I mentioned an upcoming roller derby match, and he seemed interested, so we half-planned a date. He left, and at this point we haven’t even hugged, let alone kissed. Really okay with that myself, but I did think it was kind of weird that he didn’t try.

Two weeks and a few emails later, he asked if we were still on for roller derby. I had completely forgotten about that, and had made plans for Saturday afternoon, but I figured I’d have time to do both, so I said yes. He planned on picking me up at 5:30.

At 5:45 he called and said he had gotten stuck in traffic, and he was about 10 minutes away. (It bears mentioning, at this point, that he lives about an hour and a half away.) So he pulls up to my place and I get in the car. I notice out of the corner of my eye that his gas light is on, and I’m thinking – If we run out of gas, I am going to freak. We didn’t. We get to Roller Derby, and it’s $5 to park. Him: “What? $5? Does that include the ticket to the roller derby? I can’t believe you have to pay for parking!” I’m thinking to myself, WTF? Since he does not appear to be reaching for his wallet, I get mine and hand the parking attendant the $20 I have in my purse. Note: I have now paid $5 on this date. That’s important for later.

We get to the ticket counter, and it’s cash only. He needs to run inside to get cash, so I wait. He pays for both tickets…at least, we’re going to assume he bought both tickets. Two tickets were handed to him, but I think he only planned to pay for one (long story). But I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. (Tickets were $10/ea.)

We head inside, and I ask, “You want beers?” He says yes…and keeps his hands in his pockets. Ooooookkkaaayyy. I pay the $8 for beers. (Note: I have now paid $13.)

We sit and watch the derby, which is fun. We hardly talk, because we’re enthralled with the oddness that is roller derby. Afterwards, we stop so he can get gas, then we stop at a bar for a few drinks. We each had two beers each, and we each ordered an appetizer. We talked, and as usual, the conversation is good enough. He tells me that at least twice a month he likes to treat himself to “a nice, expensive dinner out.” And I’m thinking, must be nice! Then the bill comes. The waitress lays it smack in between us. And he just looks at it.

Are you kidding me? So I hand him the $7 I have left from the $20, saying, “This is all I have.” And he says, reluctantly, “Well, I guess I’ll get the rest.”

Darn Skippy, you will, buddy!! I am so done with this date, with this guy. He drives me home and pulls into a parking spot. Says nothing. I open the door, “Well, that was fun.” He says something like, “Yeah, it was.” I get out and close the door, take two steps….AND HE DRIVES AWAY. I live in a condo, I was NOWHERE close to my door, and he just drives away! Now, this guy is in his late 30’s. He should have better manners than a 19 year old. You’re supposed to wait for the person to get safely inside – it’s a little thing called MANNERS.

I figure, he’s just as done as I am. Whatever. Fine. That was last Saturday, and I haven’t heard from him since. Fine by me. We’ve both gone our separate ways. I was really wondering if I should write about him or not, and had pretty much decided not to.

UNTIL HE EMAILED ME TODAY, ASKING ME TO GO OUT AGAIN!! Are you kidding me?! Seriously?!!

My response: “I’m sorry, I was mugged after you dropped me off last week, and I’m still in the hospital. Luckily, the mugger didn’t get any money, since I didn’t have any left.”

Okay, I didn’t really respond that way. I don’t know whether I should respond with a simple “No thank you,” or not respond at all. I really don’t want to respond at all, but I hate being rude. Of course, obviously his idea of rude is completely different from mine.


8 responses to “The Grad Student

  1. I didn’t realize that this was the same guy. God, if he’s acts like this now, can you imagine what he would be like in 6 months? You’re right, NEXT!!!!

    • delightfuleccentric

      Heehee – I’m going to say “NEXT” after every one, thanks to you! 🙂

  2. He definitely does sound like he’s still in that college phase of life… socially awkward, a bit on the cheap side.

    But, at least he made it easy for you to make your decision. Next!

    • delightfuleccentric

      but he’s been out in the Real World in between college and grad school, so unless he’s reverted…that’s really not a good excuse.

  3. Ugh, I hate the cheap guys. I can understand being a student and being poor, since I am one, but expecting the girl to pay for everything…??? I was dating a guy who made over 100k a year and he would do the same thing…let the check sit on the table like he expected me to pick it up, and every time he paid, he made sure I knew it….”I’ll get this one…” or “I’ll pay this time, you can next time….”

    • delightfuleccentric

      My favorite part was him talking about treating himself twice a month to expensive dinners, then, not 5 minutes later, letting the check just sit there. Obviously he’s cheap only when he wants to be.

  4. TheSingleFilez

    Whilst reading this I couldn’t help but to giggle to myself, I knew something ‘good’ was coming. By the time I got to the end it was a full-on out loud cackle. Hilarious!

    Yes, you should have sent him an email saying you’d been mugged and you were still in the hospital. With his cheap-ass self.

    It’s kinda refreshing to know that its not just the UK that produces men that are obviously still teenaged boys deep down. Sad times all around really.