That’s right. I had a date Friday night with a cop. I’ve never had anything against dating a cop, but I’ve also never had a “man in uniform” thing, either. I never really noticed pilots in the airport until after I started dating The Pilot, so it wasn’t a uniform thing, per se.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about this guy. His emails started out pretty good. Well (enough) written, complete sentences, punctuation. Then, the third or fourth email in, I found myself having to almost decipher the meaning of the email, because it was stream of consciousness with a few “lol”s thrown in. And I really hate “lol.” We had a long phone conversation on Tuesday night, and while he seemed nice enough, there were a lot of marks on the list, all based on very superficial, stereotypical things. He seems to be a hard partier. He “lays out” and “tans.” He apparently hates “rich people.” (His words, to be exact, were “Damn rich people,” and his meaning was that they were ungrateful to the police force and expected them to jump when they said to.) He drives a Mustang. A red one. And is quite proud of it. Makes me wonder if he’s compensating for something else. And, (and I know, this is horrible, please don’t bother to tell me so) he sounds like the biggest freaking redneck this side of the county line. I’m talking about his accent. There’s southern drawl, and then there’s redneck. Come on, people, please tell me you know what I’m talking about.
I was scared to give this guy too much information about me, because I felt like he could find me too easily. He had my mobile number, and while the average citizen can’t do much with that, surely a cop could find someone with it, right? Or would he need a subpoena to get information from the wireless company? Certainly if he had my last name, or my address, he could find out everything about me. I was trying to figure out how to meet him without him seeing my license plate number. This is so silly, I know, but you know how everyone says you should be careful on giving out too much information when dating online? Well, that could be doubly true if the guy is a cop. Because they do have access to so much more information.
Plus, you know, there’s a stereotype with cops. There are horror stories about wife-beaters and child abusers and just all-around bad temper. Not all cops are like that. Not all pilots are cheaters. But I have that very real proof that stereotypes can be true.
Regardless of all this, I agreed to having drinks. And after we talked on the phone, he emailed me that night. And again Wednesday morning. Called and texted Wednesday night. Emailed me again Thursday morning. I called him Thursday night, to confirm out plans, as I hadn’t actually talked to him on Wednesday. He was kidding, I’m sure (I hope) when he said, “You’re not going to stand me up, are you? If you stand me up, I’ll track you down.” Really the wrong thing to say, even though he followed it up with a “just kidding.”
So, all in all, I really really was not sure about this one. The question, of course, is why the heck I went out with him? The answer is multi-faceted. Maybe I totally misjudged him. Maybe in person there’s something there. I’m really trying to put myself out there, to fully explore any opportunities presented to me. And, the more men I go out with, the more I can get over my last relationship. At least, I hope.
As a followup, a friend of mine dated a cop once, and I asked her what her experience was. “I was told by a female cop to never date a cop or a fireman. I’ve done both and would recommend neither. The cop was nice enough to me, but the way he talked about the people he policed was awful. I know that he and some of the other cops he worked with would rough people up for no reason.” Well, that did nothing to make me feel any better about this. I mean, I get that they see a lot of stuff, bad stuff, and they see it over and over again, so they obviously start judging people based on their experience. But I don’t think I want that much negativity around me.
The date went fine. But he was quite negative whenever race or ethnic topics came up (the new Arizona immigration law, for one), and I don’t want someone like that in my life. At lease not someone I have a choice about.
He called and texted me yesterday. I didn’t know what to do. I finally sucked it up today and emailed him on Match letting him know I wasn’t interested.
Ugh. I hate that part. My stomach is still in my throat.