I’m trying. I really am. And most days I do pretty well. And then other days…I don’t do so well.
The worst thing is, I have constant reminders every day. Every time I see a plane coming in for landing (20 a day, easy), I think of him. Every time I hear a plane overhead, I think of him. It’s particularly bad at night, when I’m in bed and it’s quiet, and I hear a plane coming in. It’s even worse in the morning, when I hear the red eyes arriving. It makes me physically ill, almost every morning.
I believe that good overcomes bad. I believe in Karma. Clean-livin’, if you will. And it bothers me when I see the bad win out over the good. It goes against my sense of fairness, of justice. I hate that phrase, “It’s not fair,” because I know that it’s stupid and life isn’t fair and shit happens. But what the hell did I do to deserve this?
And if Karma does exist, he should have a load of the bad kind coming his way.