A little bit of foreshadowing…
- I noticed, a long while back, that one of The Pilot’s friends on Facebook – one of his female friends – had a profile picture of the two of them together. I asked him who she was. “My cousin in Augusta,” he said.
- You’ll remember, when we went to Tahoe, that The Pilot had to turn around and go home because his uncle died. Shortly after that trip, I received a call from The Pilot, upset, because he heard from a friend of his that one of my friends was asking questions about him. I found out that the wedding photographer that went to Tahoe worked with a woman who knew The Pilot. This woman said she thought he was dating a woman in Atlanta. I asked The Pilot about it, and he said that he had gone on a couple of dates with a woman in Atlanta, but it was over by the time we got together. He said he went to high school with the woman who said that, and they only spoke about once a year, so it made sense that she may not have accurate information.
- A few months ago, The Pilot thought I had been cheating on him. The reason isn’t important, but let’s just say that it made sense for him to think that, based on evidence, but that there was actually a reasonable explanation, and I wasn’t cheating on him. We had a heartfelt talk about it. “You know, my ex cheated on me,” he said, “and I still carry that hurt with me, so when I thought you were cheating on me, it just kicked me in the gut.” Understandable.
So, you may have guessed by now. When I logged on to my alternate email on January 22nd, I found a message from the “cousin,” the woman in Atlanta, saying she had read my blog and was wondering why I was writing about her boyfriend. She asked what he had said or done that had led me to believe he and I were in a relationship. Were he and I really just friends, strictly platonic? She asked me, “woman to woman,” what was going on, and I answered her honestly. I asked her some questions of my own, saying that I would appreciate the same, as this has happened to both of us.
I haven’t heard back from her.
He probably told her I was some psychotic stalker who imagined that our friendship was more than that. That’s not the case. I’m not delusional. He told me he loved me. We were sleeping together for a year and a half. I met his friends. He met mine. He met my parents. I thought he was The One, and at one point, not too long ago, we (very hypothetically) discussed marriage.
She also told me that when he came home from Tahoe, it wasn’t because his uncle died, it was because she found out. Found out what, I don’t know. That he wasn’t where he was supposed to be? That he was with another woman? That he was with me, specifically?
I wanted to wait to post any more here, until I heard from her, until I had some closure of my own. But I’ve lost hope of hearing from either her or him, so I’m doing what I need to do for me. I need to move on, but I needed to get this all out first. I will get through this. But part of getting through it involves getting it out, and this is my venue for that. As the tagline says, blogging is much cheaper than therapy.
That being said, it absolutely galls me that he lied to my face, at least twice, about issues I asked him about directly. It also galls me that he would have the nerve to be upset I was cheating on him, when he cheated on me what appears to be the entire length of our relationship. This wasn’t just some fling, a one night stand. He had a full relationship with me, and a full relationship with someone else. At least one someone else. Who knows, there may be more. I have no way of knowing.
(more to come…)