Twilight Thoughts

I got a little bit of a late start on the Twilight series, but after hearing everyone talk about it, I felt compelled to read it. I’m on the third book now, and there’s some things I want to say.

I’ll start by saying that I didn’t particularly like Twilight. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I didn’t see what the big deal was. I heard about The Meadow scene, and when I read it, I was completely unimpressed. I wasn’t going to continue reading the series, but I was told that I should read the second book. So I did.

And I liked the second book, New Moon, much better. About halfway through the book I realized why. It was because I didn’t have to hear about how damn perfect Edward is.

That’s right, folks. Count me on Team Jacob. I mean, come on. Warm-blooded boy, or cold-as-marble boy? I personally would rather curl up next to some warmth at night, TYVM.

Then I watched the movie Twilight, and I enjoyed it much more than the book. And I realized that, again, it was because I didn’t have to listen to Bella’s internal monologue about how perfect Edward was. That was the part that really aggravated me in the first book. I mean, come on…I GET it already!

So now I’m reading the third book, Eclipse, and we’re back to Bella talking about Edward, although it’s not as bad as in the first book. But here’s the part that made me write this blog post. I was reading it the other night, and this line popped out at me: “Cold as ice, his tongue lightly traced the shape of my lips.”

EEEEWWWWW! That just makes me think of a lizard. Or a wet willy. I don’t want cold lips kissing me, a cold tongue tracing over my lips, a cold body pressed up against me in a passionate embrace. There’s a reason romance novels are called “steamy” – because the men are warm-blooded, and their mouths and tongues and all other parts of their body are HOT. (Ugh. That makes me think of Edward and Bella having sex, and his cold penis. Double EW!!) There’s a reason “Cold Fish” is a bad term!!

BTW, there is a “5th” book available online at Stephanie Meyers’ site. It’s not really a 5th book, it’s actually the 1st book written from Edward’s POV. And, not surprisingly, I enjoyed it far more than the original – because it wasn’t Bella talking about how perfect Edward was.

I’m a little more than halfway through Eclipse, and I have a couple of ideas on what the end of the series will be.  My coworker refuses to acknowledge whether I’m correct of not.  So I will continue reading, and see if I am right.  I was already right on one theory, so I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be right again.  We’ll see!

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