If I don’t see you, you’re not there

I am a master at avoidance.  It’s my stand-by coping mechanism.  If I don’t want to deal with something, I simply…forget it’s there.  I don’t deal with it.  Simple.  Easy. 

Yeah…can you see problems with this?

A while back, The Pilot and I were having problems.  Scratch that – I was having problems.  While I still think that some of my issues were slightly justified, I managed to blow everything entirely out of proportion.  And the main reason was my propensity to compare our relationship with the relationships of others. 

Stupid, I know.

Since then, things have been Faboo.  And I have been avoiding certain blogs and message boards like the bloody plague.  I’ve wanted to read them, because I feel like some of the people I connected with were becoming friends, and I want to catch up with their lives.  But instead, I studiously ignore the links in my favorites.  They’re not there, I don’t see them, they don’t exist.

I’m getting closer to checking in on them.  Maybe soon. 

(Incidentally, my personal life is not the only place I practice avoidance in this way.  Bees…bees are another prime example.  If one is flying around me, I simply hold still and close my eyes.  Because, if I don’t see it, it’s not there.  It’s the same thing my cat does when he doesn’t want to acknowledge me.)


2 responses to “If I don’t see you, you’re not there

  1. it’s so hard (near impossible) to be in a relationship without comparing your situation with others. it’s an ongoing battle i also have. maybe you can read the blogs while plugging your ears and singing “lalalalalalalalalala!”

    🙂 good luck.