I have determined that work sucks. Not my work, per se, but work in general. The feeling has been in the making for several weeks now, but it really hit me this morning. It’s not that I hate my job – I don’t, I mostly like my job, although I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. It’s not that I hate my company – I don’t. It’s simply that I hate the structure it imposes on my life.
I don’t want to have an alarm clock waking me up. I don’t want to have to spend an hour getting ready. I don’t want to drive in. I don’t want to sit in a chair for eight hours a day. I don’t want the next four days to be a carbon copy of today.
I want to wake up when I want to wake up. I want to work in my pajamas, from my comfy chair, with my cat curled up against my side. I want to take a shower when I decide to. I want to eat when I decide to. I want to take a nap when I want to.
I think it boils down to simply wanting to make my own freaking decisions, to not having someone else tell me I have to be somewhere at a certain time. I feel like I’m one step away from needing a hall pass when I go to the bathroom. I just want to get away for a while, not have to worry about being anywhere at a certain time, or for a certain length of time. I just want to come and go as I please.
Really, is that too much to ask? 🙂