One of the problems with dating someone who isn’t around all the time is that it makes it really difficult to fight. At least for me. I have an issue with fighting on the phone – I don’t think it should be done. I think that if you’re going to fight, or have a serious discussion, or anything like that, then it needs to be done in person, face to face. Maybe it’s because I’m not much of a phone person to begin with, but I think it has more to do with looking into each others eyes and making sure there is no miscommunication in the process. No misunderstood/garbled words, you can see facial expressions, and it’s much easier to make up once the fight/discussion is over. I like to think it’s harder to lie in person. And, as my friend B says, you can hold hands during the fight, and it’s much harder to hate someone when you’re holding hands.
When you only see your significant other once a week, sometimes the issue builds inside of you. You don’t know when you’ll be able to discuss it, and so it simmers, making you pretty much miserable. I try really hard to put it on the back burner (to keep with the cooking metaphors), and, actually, a lot of times it works, and I’m okay. But sometimes….Well, let’s just say that I’ve found there are several ways it can go:
- You hold onto it for so long that it blows up.
- You hold onto it long enough that when you’re able to discuss it, you no longer have the desire to, because it’s just not worth it anymore.
- It simmers on the back burner and you’re able to discuss it rationally once you’re together.
- You start to feel guilty because it seems like every time you see each other, you’re arguing, simply because that’s the only time you can do it.
- You feel stupid for being upset/angry in the first place.
I’m in stage 3 right now. Hopefully I’ll stay there, and be able to discuss the issue I have in a rational manner. And hopefully it’ll get resolved. But I’m kind of afraid it’s going to end up a combination of 1 and 5. Because the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s a stupid “high-school”-like issue. But I think there’s an underlying issue. I think the thing I’m ticked off about is stupid and high-school-ish, but the reason behind the issue is, actually, an issue. A big one. I need a reasonable explanation, and if I don’t get one, I’m going to be seriously ticked off.