The Bachelor – My take

So, I know I’m not the first to blog about this, but I feel the need to at least write down my thoughts.  I should say that I gave in and listened to/read the spoilers on this season, so I knew pretty much what was coming. 

For those of you who didn’t become addicted this season….well, wait, let me back up some.

I don’t normally watch The Bachelor.  I don’t think I’ve watched more than three episodes since it’s been on.  But I got sucked into The Bachelorette last season, when the final two came down to Jason and Jesse.  I was one of those who was pretty much in love with Jason, I was on the “Jason Bandwagon,” and I was completely floored when DeAnna chose Jesse over Jason.  Last summer, I heard they were doing a casting call here in Charlotte for The Bachelor, and I half considered going.  Except that (a) I am completely against my 15 minutes of fame being on a crappy reality show (or on the news after a tornado hits or the guy next door kills 20 people (“He seemed like such a nice guy!”)), (b) I would never in a million years try out for something like this, and (c) I had recently begun dating The Pilot, and I wanted to see where that would go.  Then, about a month after the casting call, I found out The Bachelor would be Jason, and I instantly regretted my decision not to try out.  Are you kidding me?  I was totally in love with Jason (in the same way women are in love with, say, Brad Pitt)!!  So, I tuned into The Bachelor this season, just to allow my eyes to feast on the yumminess that was Jason.

And each episode, I became a little more disenchanted with him.  Because I thought he was a little too nice.  Because I thought he was a bit…dim.  I realized that he and I would never have connected, because our personalities would not have done well together.

But I kept watching.  I’m not sure why.

So, last night, in case you don’t watch and are completely unaware of the hoopla this has become, Jason chose between the final two women, Melissa and Molly.  I was (and am) a Melissa fan.  I never really cared for Molly, especially after her little “overnight” date with Jason.  (She ended up spending the night with him in a tent, and from inside the tent you could hear….noises…..and the next morning she goes back to the house in his clothes (what, she couldn’t find her own clothes?) and starts talking about how tired she is and how they didn’t get any sleep….and she’s telling the other girls this!  Now, as a girl, I can tell you – she did it on purpose, a way to make them jealous and make it seem like they have…a specialconnection.  Ack.)

Last night, on the finale, Jason chose Melissa.  After DeAnna came back and told him he still had a chance with her.  (What???  How about, “Do I still have a chance with you?”)  She said she had the choice between the guy who had it all (Jason) and The Wildcard (Jesse) and she chose The Wildcard.  (BTW, she and Jesse have now broken up.)  She tells him not to follow his heart, but to “lead his heart.”  Now, anyone who has watched the show knows that Melissa is “the one who has it all” and Molly is “The Wildcard.”  Do you think DeAnna helped or hindered?  I think she was looking to make it 20 minutes of fame, but I digress…

So, Jason chooses Melissa in the finale.  Then, in the After The Rose Special (filmed 6 weeks after The Finale), he breaks up with Melissa ON CAMERA because “things have changed” and “it’s not the same” and “the connection just isn’t there anymore” and “he still has feelings for Molly” and he doesn’t feel that he and Melissa “have a connection.”  Melissa is (understandably) upset, telling him that he hasn’t fought for their relationship, he’s just given up.  She calls him “a bastard,” which, IMO, is completely justified, and she gives the ring back (I’m yelling at the TV that she should totally keep it and sell it, but, whatever).  Then, Molly comes out, and he asks if he can have another chance.  I’m hoping to God that she tells him to piss off, but she doesn’t (damn it).

A lot of people think Jason is a complete ass for doing this to Melissa.  I think he’s an idiot and has been manipulated by the producers throughout this process.  I feel very sorry for Melissa, and I still don’t like Molly.

I agree with Melissa that when you’re engaged (and married), you should fight for the relationship.  One of the main things about being in a real, honest, serious relationship is that the little things don’t break you up because you are forced to work through them.  It’s not like the early stages of dating, where any little thing breaks you up.  But….

Of course it’s not the same.  You are now in a long-distance relationship, not able to see each other very much, which is difficult on any relationship, whether you’ve been together for 2 months or 2 years.  You’ve known each other for two months, and after what would be classified as a “whirl-wind relationship” during which you’ve also been “seriously” dating several other women (if it was normal circumstances, there would have been at least 3 serious relationships going on, and would also, BTW, be classified as cheating) you have become engaged.  Now, you are back in the real world, and not going on dates in helicopters in New Zealand.  OF COURSE IT’S DIFFERENT!!!   WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT????  Jason says he had to open himself up to everyone, because holding back wouldn’t have been honest, which I absolutely agree with.  In opening himself up, he fell in love with more than one woman, which is to be expected.

In the previous season (which I didn’t watch), Brad caught a lot of flack for not proposing to either of the final two girls (one of which was DeAnna).  But you know what?  Why should he?  If it’s not there, it’s not there.  You shouldn’t be forced to propose to someone simply because you’re “supposed” to.  That’s where I think The Bachelor has things all wrong.  The Finale shouldn’t come down to a proposal – it should be, “You know what, we really have something, and I’d like to explore it more.”  If The Bachelor was smart, they would extend the season to include monthly “check-ins” with the now dating couple and follow their budding relationship – because, after two months, it is, in fact, still budding.

To break it down, I don’t blame the player, I blame the game.  It’s no wonder The Bachelor success rate is so low.   

However, I still don’t like Molly.  Although, my dislike for her now rivals my dislike for Jason, so maybe it really did work out for the best…

And I will never watch The Bachelor again.  (Okay, unless it’s Jillian in The Bachelorette.  Because I’ve always said, 25 men competing for one woman brings out the best in them.  25 women competing for one man brings out the worst.)


4 responses to “The Bachelor – My take

  1. Because Jason has a child, he has to make sure the woman in his life is the right one. If Melissa was not the right one, I am happy that he hopefully and found the right one with Molly.
    I have three children and remarried after being divorced from their father for several years. I found the right one, he blends into our family so well and takes on the fatherly role in our household. Perhaps Melissa was missing some features that Jason required to complete his family.

  2. I think it sucks that he dumped her on national tv, but didn’t he dump everyone else on national television before her? It’s the entire premise of the show that their relationship is for all the world to see. And personally, I don’t blame the guy for dumping someone that he didn’t see a future with. Better now than later.
    I am SO watching Jillian as the Bachelorette!

  3. delightfuleccentric

    Jen – Yes, he broke up with everyone else on TV, but there’s a difference between the rose ceremonies and dumping your fiance, I think, regardless of how she became your fiance.

    Don’t get me wrong, if it wasn’t right it wasn’t right, and staying in it “just because” is not good. I just think it was handled pretty crappily. (I know, not a word, but it works here, so deal with it!)

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