To Pop or Not To Pop

I have a friend who has been with his girlfriend for three years.  He’s been talking about breaking up with her for the last year and a half.  He went on this huge rant the other day, about how he hates this about her and hates that about her, this annoys him, that aggravates him, etc.  “But she’s a great person, really.”  I understand that.  People can be great people, but things they do can upset you.  That’s part of a relationship.  That’s part of the human condition.  Then he says, “I’ve promised myself that I’m either going to end it or propose by the end of the summer.”

Do you think that’s the basis of a lasting relationship?  If your options are end it or get married, I’m thinking the former option is the one you should choose.  I think that if marriage is up as a choice, it should be the only choice.  Am I wrong?


4 responses to “To Pop or Not To Pop

  1. … I don’t get that. If the choice is marriage or ending the relationship… why the hell would you get married?

  2. well…that’s the choice in ANY relationship isn’t it? To break up or commit long-term? I think to be in a marriage/LTR, it’s putting up with a lot of shit and deciding on a frequent basis whether or not you find the relationship worth putting up with the shit. You can always find stuff to bitch about. But if it’s all petty stuff, either you’re always going to be alone in the end or you learn to put up with some of it and make a decision to make a real effort. I don’t think it’s that crazy.

  3. delightfuleccentric

    Jen- While I agree that in any relationship, you’re always putting up with something or another, I think that it shouldn’t make you think about leaving if it’s really meant to be. Maybe I’m an idealist, or naive (I know we’ve had similar conversations before). I just think that if there’s a question about it, maybe you should choose the option that has less of a consequence. In the example of my friend, the choices are get married or break up. If they break up, they move on with thier lives. If they get married, it seems there is a higher possibility of divorce in the future, simply because that choice is already being questioned. I think that It shouldn’t be “I like her well enough, but because of this and that I’m not sure, but it’s time to make a decision one way or another.” I think it should be “I love this person, and even though this or that about her bugs me, I can’t imagine life without her.”

  4. The bartender

    I think that there are always things that bug you about the one you are with. It all comes down to how much you love that person and do the pros out-weigh the cons. While I may think I am a catch, I know someone would put up with “crap” to be with me… sarcasm being at the top of the list. To watch my dad and step-mother, they seem to be opposites from a 3rd party perspective. Watch them over time and you see why they have lasted 20+ years.