I’ve mentioned it before, paying on a date, and who should pay, or when I think they should pay. I’ve discussed it at length with friends, and commented on other people’s experience. But, since Jen brought it up, I’ll put my opinion here, for the record.
If I meet a man under “normal” circumstances (like, maybe at a bookstore), and he asks me out, I think he should pay. I will still do “the reach,” but I fully expect him to pay. When you’re on a dating website, though, I think the rules change. On a first date, I expect to pay my own way. If he wants to pay, that’s great, I’ll let him, but I’m not going to expect it. If he does pay, I will ask him ONCE if he’s sure, then I thank him graciously, and leave it at that.
BTW, when the check came at the Ethiopian restaurant, I pulled my wallet out. He actually asked me, “Do you mind if I get this?” I thought it was very sweet, that he asked in that way. I hear stories about women who get all offended if men are actually chivalrous, which really ticks me off. These women need to realize that women’s lib does not mean that when a man is chivalrous, he’s treating you as less of a person. If anything, as Lyle Lovett says, “it’s perhaps an acknowledgement of women as the stronger sex.”