The Talk

Nice Guy wants me to take down my Match profile.  I’m not interested in doing so.  I’m not sure how to handle things without hurting him.

I remember last time I was in this predicament – with good old Soccer Guy (who, incidentally, I don’t think had played soccer in quite a while, but we had talked about it, so that’s what he got dubbed).  I was the typical girl – I wanted to be exclusive – but I didn’t want to be “clingy” or assume too much about where our relationship was headed.  I was still half-heartedly on Match, and still talking to a couple of guys, when it came to a head one night.  One of the guys called while I was at Soccer Guy’s place, and I decided to take the call – yes, hoping to make Soccer Guy a little jealous.  I kept it light, said I couldn’t talk, and hung up, all the while with Soccer Guy watching me.  He asked who it was, and I told him – “a guy.”  “From Match?” he asked.  “Yes.”  “Well, the next time he calls, tell him you’re at your b…guyfriends house and you can’t talk.”  (At which point he got re-dubbed as my “b-guyfriend.”)  Not too long after that we had “The Talk.”  He had taken his profile down, and requested that I do the same.  I did.  And we lived Happily Ever 6 Months.

Did I mention Nice Guy tried to have The Talk via text at midnight?  I told him I would call him today and we could talk about it.  He texted back that it was “not the answer he was hoping for.”

I’m just not sure what to do.  Well, that’s not true – I do know what to do.  I’m not taking my profile down.  Nice Guy is not The One – although that’s not to say I won’t some day change my mind.  But he’s genuinely a good guy, and I don’t look forward to hurting his feelings.  I’m not sure what I’m going to say yet.


The Talk has been had.  Needless to say, it didn’t go well.  I got the feeling he was a bit upset.  I told him that I just wasn’t ready to take my profile down at this point, and he said, “Well, that about says it all.”  And he’s right, it does.  It says “I’m not as interested in you as you are in me.”  And I get that that hurts.  He said he’s not sure what to say at this point, and I told him I understand, that I think he’s a great guy and I’d still like to spend time with him, but that I’d follow his lead.  So…we’ll see.

It’s been said before, but- Dating SUCKS.


One response to “The Talk

  1. Those talks suck. Especially when the feeling isn’t mutual. But very telling to both of you that you didn’t feel like taking your profile down. I wouldn’t either unless I was sure he was “the one”…for example – Jon and I decided to give the long distance thing a go, but we could both still date in our areas – me in UT, he in NC. I found myself wanting to end dates early so I could call him and pretty soon I lost interest in even pretending to want to get to know other guys. That’s when I knew. I later found out he already knew and wasn’t dating anyone in NC – just didn’t want to rush me! So, long story short – wait until you KNOW!