3 strikes, you’re out

Another 1st date.  He showed up, and really didn’t look anything like his picture.  Not bad, just not like his picture.

Strike 1:  While waiting for a table, we got a drink at the bar.  We had to pay the tab there, I did “the reach,” and he let me pay.  I figured – okay, he’ll pick up dinner.  I can pick up a couple of beers.

Strike 2:  We went to Brixx (home of fabulous specialty pizzas, including my fave, the Rustica) – he ordered pepperoni.  No imagination.

Conversation was…fine.  Yes, I mean that as it sounds.  It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great.  Slightly stilted.  He continually talked about his new car (he has four), a Mercedes convertible.  Do you know how much he paid for it?  I do.  Oh, and he pays a fortune on a house in Charleston every month, because he’s still in transition, and living with “mommy and daddy” in Troutman while he tries to sell it.  When the bill came, I didn’t even bother with “the reach,” and I think he was a little perturbed about that.  Hey – I got drinks.

Then we went across the street to get a drink and talk some more.  (I know – if I was already “whatever” about him, why did I bother with another drink?)  On the way, we stopped at my car to drop off my leftovers.  (I parked behind the building Brixx is in, in Birkdale, for those of you who know the area.  Nice enough neighborhood, but still, back of the building is fairly deserted.  Keep that in mind.)  Then we went across the street to Fox and Hound.  Talked some more, had another drink.  

Strike 3:  The bill came for the drinks, and he didn’t even look at it.  Fine, I thought, I’ll pay for these drinks, too – dinner came to more than that, I’m sure.  And this is a first date, so it’s not like it’s too big of a deal.  But still, a gentleman would have paid.  Especially a gentleman who can afford four cars and a big house payment.  Whatever.

So, I’ve pretty much made up my mind at this point that, although he seems like a decent enough guy, I don’t really want to date him, I’m not really attracted to him, and, quite honestly, I really don’t even want to be friends with him.  And then…

Strike 4:  We exit Fox and Hound, and he says, “Okay, well I’m parked over here, so I’ll see you.”  WHAT?!  I swear my jaw dropped, and I must have had a look of disbelief on my face.  I don’t even get escorted to my car?  Which is in the deserted area behind the building, where nobody will see if I get attacked?  You know what, he could have paid for drinks, dinner, more drinks, and looked like Brad Pitt – but I still would have been peeved if he hadn’t walked me to my car.  COMMON COURTESY, dammit. 

And before you say, “Maybe he just wasn’t interested” – He left me a message to make another date.

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10 responses to “3 strikes, you’re out

  1. What a weirdo! Don’t waste your time on losers like him….a guy like that doesn’t ever change. Atleast he showed his true colors on your first date…now you don’t have to waste your time on a second or third…

  2. I totally agree with houston. At least it didn’t take six months or a year to see what he’s really like.

  3. Let me play Devil’s advocate for a second.

    Generally, I agree with the paying complain. On a first date, the guy should generally be paying (there are certain exceptions to this rule), especially since he was talking about his “things”.

    But come on … you gave him a strike because he ordered Pepperoni. I mean really now … thats such an insignificant thing.

    Lastly, you do have to entertain the fact he may not have been 100% feeling you either. That would explain a lot in relation ot the paying and the end of th enight escort. Honestly, that is the one reason to not pay on the first date, and I have definitely kept my wallet in my pocket for dates going downhill.

    Just my 2 cents … but I foresee “lashback”

  4. I see SBM’s point in the pepperoni, but the guy did call after the date to ask for another, right? So he was interested, he just didn’t want to pay for drinks or make sure she got to her car safely? I don’t get it.

  5. delightfuleccentric

    Oh, boy, disagreement and discussion!

    Ok, the pepperoni thing – he got a strike for that because personally, I think that a person’s taste in food spills over into other aspects of their life. Therefore, his choice of plain pepperoni over such specialty pizzas as Roasted Chicken (with mozzarella, roma tomatoes, and fresh oregano), Bronx Bomber (Italian sausage, prosciutto, gorgonzola, tomato sauce, and fresh oregano), or Barbecue Chicken (with smoked gouda, red onion, and fresh cilantro) suggests, to me, that he likes bland food, therefore he is bland. It’s totally a personal thing, and I would have probably ignored it if everything else had been great. Something like this wouldn’t have been an issue for someone else – that’s kind of what dating is, right? There’s someone out there that gives someone a strike because he has…I don’t know, big earlobes. Whatever. People are quirky.

    Onto paying for the date. Believe me, I am always prepared to pay for myself on the first date. I ALWAYS do “the reach,” but I am more than willing to let the man pay. But he didn’t even BOTHER to do “the reach” for the first set of drinks, which, in my opinion, made it a foregone conclusion that he would pay for dinner – if he didn’t offer to split the bar tab, I wasn’t going to offer to split the dinner tab.

    And, since he knew I had parked in a deserted area behind the building, he should have offered to walk me to my car. If I had been out with a girlfriend and knew she had parked there, I would have walked her back (and then gotten a ride to my car). Like I said, I think it’s just courtesy. And, as Jen B pointed out, he has called to ask for another date.

  6. It may be 2007, but it’s a sad world when a man makes a woman pay for dinner on the first date and then sends her basically down a dark alley by herself. I don’t care what the “New Men’s Handbook on Dating” says, pick up the tab, open the door and for God’s sake, walk her to the car.

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