When is it time?

I’m always interested in how long people are together before Those Three Words are said (or, more to the point, meant), and how long before The Question is popped.  The length of time fascinates me, maybe simply because it’s rarely felt like the right time to me.

I know a couple that moved in together after four months, they were engaged at 6 months, and have now been engaged for five years, with no plans to set a date.

I know couples who were dating for several years before The Question was popped.  Other couples dated for years and The Question was never popped.  Those Three Words were said after three weeks; or Those Three Words weren’t said until a year in. 

I realize that there is no standard amount of time in affairs of the heart.  Each relationship is different.  This guy, though, is really different.  They’ve been together five years, and he is proposing…kind of.  It sounds as if it will still be a while before she says yes, though.  Is this romantic?  Cowardly?  Why does he want to put this off?

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4 responses to “When is it time?

  1. I think we progressed a little faster than most…we met on Dec 28, 2002. Said “I Love You” on Feb. 13, 2003, got engaged on April 26, 2003, got married on July 3, 2003.
    Fast and looking back, I think sometimes I must have been crazy and how I barely knew him in comparison to now….but the best choice I ever made. I’m blissfully happy.

  2. oh, as for the guy proposing to Mary…i think it’s lame. If you love the person and want to marry them, don’t come up with an idea that may never reach her!

  3. delightfuleccentric

    Yeah – Like I said, I think it’s kind of cowardly. He doesn’t really want to get married, so he’s proposing in a way that makes it nearly impossible. At what point does he give up and ask her in person? In another five years?

  4. We progressed pretty quickly too. Went out a few times in the span of a month, then all of a sudden we couldn’t get enough of each other and we were together all the time. Said ILY maybe 6 weeks into it and moved in together 10 weeks into it, out of neccesity–a hurricane destroyed his apartment. I think the hurricane was a gigantic sign. We will get married eventually, but it’s more of a formality for us.